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Old December 20th, 2008, 12:37 PM   #1
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Thank God I'm an Atheist

Thank God I'm an Atheist



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Submitted by Kym on September 22, 2008 - 1:58pm. biases | religion | stereotypes

Stumbling never felt so dangerous

I have recently become addicted (in a good way) to this website/ search engine-type web page called StumbleUpon. I don’t know how many of you have been Stumbling, but I guarantee that it is worth a look. You never know what kind of site will be sent your way for you to Stumble across. Which brings me to the purpose of this blog. I tried posting it once already, but my laptop decided it was going to overreact to a momentary lapse of wi-fi action and kick me offline completely, taking my blog along with it. And of course, as I was writing it in between Ethics and Anthropology, I didn’t think it would be a big deal if I typed directly into the blog-posting page rather than on a word document.

But I digress. The website that I Stumbled on, honestly, scared me. I describe myself as an agnostic atheist for lack of better way to describe it. However, it is sites like the one I Stumbled on that really turn me off of mass, organized religions. This site, Funny theist quotes - FreeThoughtPedia , is far from funny. It is comprised of quotes pulled from Christian forums, as well as those said in real life and on web pages such as Myspace. It honestly scared me that people can be this narrow-minded when it comes to religion, cultures, and sexuality.

Here’s a little taste:

“No, everyone is born Christian. Only later in life do people choose to stray from Jesus and worship satan instead. Atheists have the greatest "cover" of all, they insist they believe in no god yet most polls done and the latest research indicates that they are actually a different sect of Muslims.”

“There are a lot of things I have concluded to be wrong, without studying them in-depth. Evolution is one of them. The fact that I don't know that much about it does not bother me in the least.”

“How can anyone beleive we evolved from monkeys heres a few questions for people who beleive that

1.If we did evolve from monkeys then how come babies arent born monkeys

2.Even Darwin said his theories were wrong before he died so why do you still believe them

3.do you really not believe the bible it says we were created in seven days not millions of years

4.how come we cant speak monkey

Just for a fact ape like creatures are monkeys Just in case certain people get on this thread”

“Seriously, does anybody ever cry at an Atheist's funeral?

I mean, since Atheists have no value whatsoever as human beings (they're not even human, but only inhuman animals), since Atheists are nothing but miserable Liars, Cowards and Murderers, after all, why would anybody in their right mind weep over the dead rotting corpse, or bone chips and ashes (that get mixed together with those of others from the crematory) of a worthless dead Atheist?

And what epitaph do you engrave on an Atheist's grave marker? "Here lies the only good Atheist, which is a dead Atheist". What else is there say? Nothing at all. No last words, no last rites, no flowers, no anything.

Every time an Atheist dies, the world is better off as a result of that dead Atheist being dead, & its damned God-forsaken soul burning in the fiery pits of Hades. :)

Which begs another related question, do Atheists cry at funerals? If so, why? Since Atheists hate God, and they hate Family, and they hate Country, who are they crying for? It is true: The only good Atheist is a dead Atheist”

“This past spring I was expelled from my high school. Why? Because I'm a Christian. There was a girl in my class who was wiccan, and I didn't want demons to possess me or anyone else and save her from satan. So, I told her that her faith was evil and told her to accept Jesus as Savior and she would be saved. Simple as that. Just say the sinners prayer and you can be saved!

Well I got sent to the principal for that. She said I was 'discriminating' against her religion. I was only doing what the Bible, God, Jesus and my pastor said! How is that wrong!?

Well, afterwards I was forced to aplologize, even though it's a sin to, so I never meant what I said. So, instead I put a copy of a Jack Chick tract in her locker about how wicca and a paganism lead to murder, rape and other horrible things because it lets the devil get inside of you. I also left a little note about how she was going to hell. I was hoping she would see the error of her ways and repent from the evil, disgusting 'religion'.

Instead I was called down to the principal again and this time there were two police officers there. And they said I was under arrest for harrasing this girl and threatening her! What did I do? I just wanted her to accept Jesus and be saved! Now her family (all evil, stupid, disgusting god hating wiccans) want to sue me for discrimination and creating a hostile workplace! How is that fair? She's the one who's discriminating against me because I'm one with the LORD!

Jesus is the only way to salvation! It's that simple people! No pope, wicca, or anything stupid like that! JESUS ONLY! Why is is wrong to tell others that? It's all the fault of the ACLU and simlar atheist organizations trying to destroy us Christians. Next they'll want to genocide us for doing our Godly work.”

_____________________

I don’t know about you readers out there, but this honestly scares me that people can be so narrow-minded, biased, misinformed, and uninformed. Not to mention lacking in intelligence. Some of the things on this site shock me, some disturb me, and some anger me to no end.

_____________________

“The only solution we have to stop gays from recruiting other people is to cut off the source. They need to be taken to specialized containment centers where they will be forced to become straight and accept Jesus as thier savior and to repent from their disgusting, wicket, hatful, devilish ways. Those that refuse to go can either be forced, or banished from society in other specialized communities where they have no connetion to the outside world at all. Most would die of AIDS anyway. Anyone who refused any of the answers to make them better would have to be killed or banished.”

“Everyone knows scientists insist on using complex terminology to make it harder for True Christians to refute their claims.

Deoxyribonucleic Acid, for example... sounds impressive, right? But have you ever seen what happens if you put something in acid? It dissolves! If we had all this acid in our cells, we'd all dissolve! So much for the Theory of Evolution, Check MATE!”

“Me and like-minded Christian students are trying to organize a mock stoning of openly gay students at our campus. We will be using crumpled up gray/brown construction paper to represent rocks, and will recite bible verses in opposition to their sinful nature. We will throw a volley or two of these "rocks" at every Gay person we happen to encounter that day.”

“When two guy's have sex they can only penetrate eachother through the crack which I think is disgusting because of all the crap that's in there. They both must face the same direction and thus one guy's twig and berries will be projecting from the two. Because no man has a vagina they can't become one flesh when having normal sex.

Women don't have Jimmy and his two buddies hanging around so they can't naturally penetrate eachother and become one flesh.

Oral with dudes can't be natural because the legs will be poking out from different directions as will the ladies if they participate in oral sex.

Oral with the opposite sex still isn't natural because you still have the leg issue and often someone is further down if they are not on top of eachother.

Anal with opposites is still excluded from natural sex because once again your are sticking your think in a crap hole and a womans tits are usually projecting outward.

When the Bible is speaking of becoming one flesh it literally means that there is nothing sticking out in the clear and that the man and woman are facing eachother. Face to Face.”

“I think there are a lot more cases of people being agnostic or atheistic, but then getting off drugs in order to become Christians. I don't know any Christians who actually do drugs. That to me seems like more of an escape from reality that non-religious folk tend to get into.

It would take a lot of drugs to convince me that I could know anything about myself and the world by being an atheist. It would also take a lot of drugs to convince me, if I were an atheist, that morality had more meaning than the indigestion I felt when I drank bad water in Mexico.”

_______________________

I mean, some of these things aren’t only ludicrous, they downright don’t make sense. Is this really the face of organized religion today, specifically Christianity? I mean, I was raised a Catholic, and I attended church for the first seven years of my life. I questioned to no end, and that eventually got me where I am today. But honestly-- mock stonings of homosexuals and talking about how evolution is impossible because we don’t speak monkey? How disturbing can it get? This sparks in me anger, sadness, and a loss of faith in humanity. I would like to think that these people represent a very small minority of Christians, but I know that it’s not entirely true. Education may have advanced since the dawn of Christianity, but many Christians that I encounter are just as ignorant. It doesn’t inspire much confidence in religion, in my case at least. I don’t believe in a God or gods, goddesses or any sort of deity, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to a hell I don’t believe exists. It doesn’t mean I’m a Satan-worshipper, as one poster so vehemently suggested. I tried religion. Not just Catholicism and Christianity. I studied Judaism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, Wicca, Taoism, and Paganism, as well as many different aspects and sects of each. I did my research. Honestly, religion is just not for me. I admire religion for its contributions to education, politics, and society in general, but just because I don’t follow a prescribed path does not mean that I am damned. I believe in a personal truth, a sort of individual nirvana or enlightenment. I don’t believe in an afterlife, Purgatory, or a hell. I don’t believe in an eternal soul. I don’t believe in horoscopes, luck, or fate. I do believe in circumstance, chance, and the good in human nature. I don’t prescribe to traditional religions or the existence of good versus evil. I don’t believe in miracles, angels, or the common definition of sin. I don’t believe we are here for a purpose other than what we want to accomplish in life. I don’t believe in intelligent design, creationism, or a divine plan. It’s just not something I have come to accept in my study of religions.

But then I see sites like these, and I am thankful in a way that I have not fallen-- I say victim for lack of better word-- to the prejudices and misinformation that many people seem to suffer.

In the words of a clever bumper sticker, “Thank God I’m an atheist!”
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Old December 20th, 2008, 12:45 PM   #2
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That's why I don't profess any actual religion, but I don't think we are just "here" either. I think "the truth" is a very interesting story and the story got messed up in the translation from the many many many generations of story tellers and languages since humans first appeared.
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Old December 20th, 2008, 01:07 PM   #3
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Old December 20th, 2008, 05:11 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tadpole256

“Me and like-minded Christian students are trying to organize a mock stoning of openly gay students at our campus. We will be using crumpled up gray/brown construction paper to represent rocks, and will recite bible verses in opposition to their sinful nature. We will throw a volley or two of these "rocks" at every Gay person we happen to encounter that day.”


That sounds really cool.



I'm sure the Christians at this college will react with magnanimity when the gay students decide it will be equally cool to organise a mass crucifixion of all Christian students there.
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Old December 20th, 2008, 05:54 PM   #5
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These people are stone cold mad...
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Old December 20th, 2008, 05:55 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by tadpole256
These people are stone cold mad...
In the above referenced quotes, I agree. But then again, so are vegans. LOL.
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Old December 20th, 2008, 05:57 PM   #7
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In the above referenced quotes, I agree. But then again, so are vegans. LOL.
Thats for damn certain!
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Old December 21st, 2008, 06:44 AM   #8
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I really think that some of those quotes are from people satirizing Christianity and were not meant to be taken seriously.



The problem, when dealing with fundamentalist Christians and those that would satirize them, is that sometimes you can't tell the difference.





For example one of the quotes from the "Funny theist" quote site that is referenced is this...



One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it.



Now is that a Christian who actually believes what he wrote, or is it from someone trying to point out how stupid a Christian sounds when they say something like that. To me it is obvious that the "giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth" is the sun...and that the poster knows that.



Satire or Serious?
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Old December 21st, 2008, 06:57 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nwolfe35
I really think that some of those quotes are from people satirizing Christianity and were not meant to be taken seriously.



The problem, when dealing with fundamentalist Christians and those that would satirize them, is that sometimes you can't tell the difference.





For example one of the quotes from the "Funny theist" quote site that is referenced is this...



One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it.



Now is that a Christian who actually believes what he wrote, or is it from someone trying to point out how stupid a Christian sounds when they say something like that. To me it is obvious that the "giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth" is the sun...and that the poster knows that.



Satire or Serious?


I have seen that exact argument put forward time and time again by people who are perfectly serious -- in real life, not on the internet where you cannot tell the would-be comics from the seriously stupid. So I see no reason to think that it is satire.
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Old December 21st, 2008, 10:32 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nwolfe35
I really think that some of those quotes are from people satirizing Christianity and were not meant to be taken seriously.



The problem, when dealing with fundamentalist Christians and those that would satirize them, is that sometimes you can't tell the difference.





For example one of the quotes from the "Funny theist" quote site that is referenced is this...



One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it.



Now is that a Christian who actually believes what he wrote, or is it from someone trying to point out how stupid a Christian sounds when they say something like that. To me it is obvious that the "giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth" is the sun...and that the poster knows that.



Satire or Serious?


You're clearly not familiar with Poe's Law, otherwise I think you would have cited it. The sad thing is how difficult it is to tell sometimes. It makes me cringe for my religious friends who have to deal with having quotes like this associated with their beliefs.
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Old December 21st, 2008, 03:23 PM   #11
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As long as we are satirizing, here's one of my favorites.

First and final paragraphs here. Click the link for the rest.



=============================================



Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory | The Onion - America's Finest News Source



KANSAS CITY, KS—As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held "theory of gravity" is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.



...



"Anti-falling physicists have been theorizing for decades about the 'electromagnetic force,' the 'weak nuclear force,' the 'strong nuclear force,' and so-called 'force of gravity,'" Burdett said. "And they tilt their findings toward trying to unite them into one force. But readers of the Bible have already known for millennia what this one, unified force is: His name is Jesus."
 
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