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Bullying Until recently, Bullying has been identified as a major concern in our Society.


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Old December 5th, 2011, 11:19 AM   #1
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My Child is Being Bullied



When children are involved in bullying, it is important for parents to be willing to take action.

Children often do not tell their parents that they are being bullied because they are embarrassed or frightened. If you suspect your child is being bullied or your child brings it up, consider these steps:
  • Talk with your child. Focus on your child. Express your concern and make it clear that you want to help.
  • Empathize with your child. Say bullying is wrong, that it is not their fault, and that you are glad they had the courage to tell you about it.
  • Work together to find solutions. Ask your child what they think can be done to help. Reassure them that the situation can be handled privately.
  • Document ongoing bullying. Work with your child to keep a record of all bullying incidents. If it involves cyberbullying, keep a record of all messages or postings.
  • Help your child develop strategies and skills for handling bullying. Provide suggestions for ways to respond to bullying, and help your child gain confidence by rehearsing their responses.
  • Be persistent. Bullying may not be resolved overnight.
  • Stay vigilant to other possible problems that your child may be having. Some of the warning signs may be signs of other serious problems. Share your concerns with a counselor at your child's school.

Working with Your Child’s School



Parents are often reluctant to report bullying to school officials, but bullying may not stop without the school’s help. Parents should never be afraid to call the school to report that their child is being bullied and ask for help to stop the bullying.
  • Know the school policies. Ask for a copy or check the student handbook to see whether your school has standards in place that will help resolve the situation.
  • Open the line of communication. Call or set up an appointment to talk with your child's teacher or school counselor and establish a partnership to stop the bullying.
  • Get help for your child. Seek advice from your child's guidance counselor or other school-based health professionals. They may be able to help your child cope with the stress of being bullied.
  • Commit to making the bullying stop. Talk regularly with your child and with school staff to see whether the bullying has stopped. You may need to seek an attorney's help or contact local law enforcement officials if the bullying persists or escalates.

What Not to Do
  • Never tell your child to ignore the bullying. What the child may “hear” is that you are going to ignore it. Be supportive and gather information about the bullying. Often, trying to ignore bullying allows it to become more serious.
  • Do not blame your child for being bullied. Do not assume that your child did something to provoke the bullying.
  • Do not encourage your child to harm the person who is bullying them. It could get your child hurt, suspended, or expelled.
  • Do not contact the parents of the students who bullied your child. It may make matters worse. School officials should contact the parents of the children involved.
  • Do not demand or expect a solution on the spot. Indicate you would like to follow up to determine the best course of action. Also, be aware that the law limits the ability of school personnel from revealing disciplinary actions taken against other students. Just because they cannot tell you if or how another student was disciplined, does not mean action was not taken.





Did You Know?



Schools that receive federal funding are obligated to address cases of bullying covered by federal civil rights laws. Read about whether your case of bullying may be a civil rights violation.



SOURCE: http://www.stopbullying.gov/parents/...being_bullied/
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Old December 5th, 2011, 02:00 PM   #2
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How about killing the bully?
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Old December 5th, 2011, 05:23 PM   #3
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Things have changed, and not for the better re: bullying. "Civilized" approaches in dealing with it are colossal failures.



As a curly red-haired child with freckles, and always rather tall for my age, I was a "natural" target for bullies. When I finally confessed this to my mom, about fourth grade, she said simply: You've got to stand up for yourself, stand up to bullies, because if you don't they'll keep bullying you. So I did. Yeah, I got into fights. Yeah, I learned to defend myself.





An old Beach Boys song had these lyrics: Yeah, the bad guys know us and they leave us alone. "Gangs" back then were gangs of good guys. We stuck up for each other, defended each other, and got into it together if the situation warranted. Fights outside of gym class usually meant getting into trouble, but fights in gym were refereed.



Today, a fight like the ones I had would have children tattling, teachers hysterical, schools locked down till the SWAT team arrived, kids taken to the police station, rounds of therapy prescribed, lockers searched, possible expulsion from school.



What the hell has happened? If things were better now, that would be one thing. But they aren't. Rather than teaching our children to take care of themselves, now we tell them to go to the authorities. And the authorities fail them.
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Old December 5th, 2011, 06:15 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by imaginethat View Post
LOL



Things have changed, and not for the better re: bullying. "Civilized" approaches in dealing with it are colossal failures.



As a curly red-haired child with freckles, and always rather tall for my age, I was a "natural" target for bullies. When I finally confessed this to my mom, about fourth grade, she said simply: You've got to stand up for yourself, stand up to bullies, because if you don't they'll keep bullying you. So I did. Yeah, I got into fights. Yeah, I learned to defend myself.





An old Beach Boys song had these lyrics: Yeah, the bad guys know us and they leave us alone. "Gangs" back then were gangs of good guys. We stuck up for each other, defended each other, and got into it together if the situation warranted. Fights outside of gym class usually meant getting into trouble, but fights in gym were refereed.



Today, a fight like the ones I had would have children tattling, teachers hysterical, schools locked down till the SWAT team arrived, kids taken to the police station, rounds of therapy prescribed, lockers searched, possible expulsion from school.



What the hell has happened? If things were better now, that would be one thing. But they aren't. Rather than teaching our children to take care of themselves, now we tell them to go to the authorities. And the authorities fail them.


I kind of agree with you, in most cases kids need to learn how to stand up for themselves or when to keep a low profile.



But it seems we are way out of date.



Check my post on the other thread about the absurd policy NJ has put in place to try and combat bullying, and which is destined for constantly increasing expense and utter failure



http://www.defending...200#entry371200
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Old December 5th, 2011, 10:47 PM   #5
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When i was younger i was made fun of constantly! (And this girl i know was made fun of even more,i felt bad for her)



Its not pleasant believe me!
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Old December 6th, 2011, 06:46 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by gary View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by imaginethat' timestamp='1323138234' post='371214

LOL



Things have changed, and not for the better re: bullying. "Civilized" approaches in dealing with it are colossal failures.



As a curly red-haired child with freckles, and always rather tall for my age, I was a "natural" target for bullies. When I finally confessed this to my mom, about fourth grade, she said simply: You've got to stand up for yourself, stand up to bullies, because if you don't they'll keep bullying you. So I did. Yeah, I got into fights. Yeah, I learned to defend myself.





An old Beach Boys song had these lyrics: Yeah, the bad guys know us and they leave us alone. "Gangs" back then were gangs of good guys. We stuck up for each other, defended each other, and got into it together if the situation warranted. Fights outside of gym class usually meant getting into trouble, but fights in gym were refereed.



Today, a fight like the ones I had would have children tattling, teachers hysterical, schools locked down till the SWAT team arrived, kids taken to the police station, rounds of therapy prescribed, lockers searched, possible expulsion from school.



What the hell has happened? If things were better now, that would be one thing. But they aren't. Rather than teaching our children to take care of themselves, now we tell them to go to the authorities. And the authorities fail them.


I kind of agree with you, in most cases kids need to learn how to stand up for themselves or when t keep a low profile.



But it seems we are way out of date.



Check my post on the other thread about the absurd policy NJ has put in place to try and combat bullying, and which is destined for constantly increasing expense and utter failure



http://www.defending...200#entry371200


Oh absolutely. Standing up for oneself does mean knowing when to take a low profile. It also means knowing when not to.
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Old December 6th, 2011, 06:47 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by imaginethat View Post
LOL



Things have changed, and not for the better re: bullying. "Civilized" approaches in dealing with it are colossal failures.



As a curly red-haired child with freckles, and always rather tall for my age, I was a "natural" target for bullies. When I finally confessed this to my mom, about fourth grade, she said simply: You've got to stand up for yourself, stand up to bullies, because if you don't they'll keep bullying you. So I did. Yeah, I got into fights. Yeah, I learned to defend myself.





An old Beach Boys song had these lyrics: Yeah, the bad guys know us and they leave us alone. "Gangs" back then were gangs of good guys. We stuck up for each other, defended each other, and got into it together if the situation warranted. Fights outside of gym class usually meant getting into trouble, but fights in gym were refereed.



Today, a fight like the ones I had would have children tattling, teachers hysterical, schools locked down till the SWAT team arrived, kids taken to the police station, rounds of therapy prescribed, lockers searched, possible expulsion from school.



What the hell has happened? If things were better now, that would be one thing. But they aren't. Rather than teaching our children to take care of themselves, now we tell them to go to the authorities. And the authorities fail them.


If one is being taunted and is forced to throw a punch, he could end up getting in trouble instead. Pleading his case would have no effect. That happened to me, and I was kicked out of PE the next day. I do wonder if the coach lectured his students right after that? I did go back in the next year, though. The coaches told me that I was much better when I came back. Not one of them brought up the fighting in the previous season, though.
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Old December 6th, 2011, 07:22 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by H80W View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by imaginethat' timestamp='1323138234' post='371214

LOL



Things have changed, and not for the better re: bullying. "Civilized" approaches in dealing with it are colossal failures.



As a curly red-haired child with freckles, and always rather tall for my age, I was a "natural" target for bullies. When I finally confessed this to my mom, about fourth grade, she said simply: You've got to stand up for yourself, stand up to bullies, because if you don't they'll keep bullying you. So I did. Yeah, I got into fights. Yeah, I learned to defend myself.





An old Beach Boys song had these lyrics: Yeah, the bad guys know us and they leave us alone. "Gangs" back then were gangs of good guys. We stuck up for each other, defended each other, and got into it together if the situation warranted. Fights outside of gym class usually meant getting into trouble, but fights in gym were refereed.



Today, a fight like the ones I had would have children tattling, teachers hysterical, schools locked down till the SWAT team arrived, kids taken to the police station, rounds of therapy prescribed, lockers searched, possible expulsion from school.



What the hell has happened? If things were better now, that would be one thing. But they aren't. Rather than teaching our children to take care of themselves, now we tell them to go to the authorities. And the authorities fail them.


If one is being taunted and is forced to throw a punch, he could end up getting in trouble instead. Pleading his case would have no effect. That happened to me, and I was kicked out of PE the next day. I do wonder if the coach lectured his students right after that? I did go back in the next year, though. The coaches told me that I was much better when I came back. Not one of them brought up the fighting in the previous season, though.


Imo, that's awful. Where did you live as a young person?
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Old December 6th, 2011, 08:08 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by imaginethat View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by gary' timestamp='1323141348' post='371222

[quote name='imaginethat' timestamp='1323138234' post='371214']

LOL



Things have changed, and not for the better re: bullying. "Civilized" approaches in dealing with it are colossal failures.



As a curly red-haired child with freckles, and always rather tall for my age, I was a "natural" target for bullies. When I finally confessed this to my mom, about fourth grade, she said simply: You've got to stand up for yourself, stand up to bullies, because if you don't they'll keep bullying you. So I did. Yeah, I got into fights. Yeah, I learned to defend myself.





An old Beach Boys song had these lyrics: Yeah, the bad guys know us and they leave us alone. "Gangs" back then were gangs of good guys. We stuck up for each other, defended each other, and got into it together if the situation warranted. Fights outside of gym class usually meant getting into trouble, but fights in gym were refereed.



Today, a fight like the ones I had would have children tattling, teachers hysterical, schools locked down till the SWAT team arrived, kids taken to the police station, rounds of therapy prescribed, lockers searched, possible expulsion from school.



What the hell has happened? If things were better now, that would be one thing. But they aren't. Rather than teaching our children to take care of themselves, now we tell them to go to the authorities. And the authorities fail them.


I kind of agree with you, in most cases kids need to learn how to stand up for themselves or when t keep a low profile.



But it seems we are way out of date.



Check my post on the other thread about the absurd policy NJ has put in place to try and combat bullying, and which is destined for constantly increasing expense and utter failure



http://www.defending...200#entry371200


Oh absolutely. Standing up for oneself does mean knowing when to take a low profile. It also means knowing when not to.

[/quote]



True. Sometimes one has to confront a challenge, sometimes it's best to let it go or leave it to run its course elsewhere.



This is also very true for adults in the workplace where the bullying may not be physical but verbal, or based on relative positions in the hierarchy.



School is a training ground for life not just for the three "r"s.
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Old March 14th, 2012, 10:27 AM   #10
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When I was school, I was bullied verbally (I was that really fat kid throughout most of my grade school experience). This was before all the "zero tolerance" policies schools started making, so verbal bullying was a pretty insignificant issue in my school. Since I had so few friends, I took the option of running away from the problem and made a deal with my parents that I would be homeschooled instead of going to high school. Lucky me, I got my GED and went to college within two years and never had to worry about being bullied again.



It's strange that as an adult, I can handle confrontation far better than I did as a child. Maybe because my best solution to handling bullies in public school was to throw insults or chairs at them? That's not the kind of thing that usually works when your an adult.
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