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Bullying Until recently, Bullying has been identified as a major concern in our Society.


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Old December 10th, 2017, 09:36 AM   #1
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Defining Sexual Harassment

Here’s what the government says

https://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/sexual_harassment.cfm
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Old December 10th, 2017, 09:47 AM   #2
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A big problem with any definition of sexual harassment is the intent of the crime takes place in the mind of the victim, not the perpetrator. How does anyone live their life never making any unwanted sexual advance? I for one am not so good looking, or rich, so that most women are attracted to me.

While it is true that most attractive females do not want most sexual advances they receive can they honestly say they never want any ever?
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Old December 10th, 2017, 10:26 AM   #3
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There are clues to look for I suppose.

You should be aware of age of consent laws in your state ( they do vary). If either of you is below the legal number, run away.

Another clue , a person who enjoys your overtures will make eye contact and smile, though not a guarantee.
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Old December 10th, 2017, 02:36 PM   #4
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If you’re walking out of work and a female fellow worker is complaining about her difficult day and you give her a consoling hug around the shoulder, ... ooops, you’re gonna be fired next day.

Wasn’t me, someone I know.
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Old December 10th, 2017, 08:18 PM   #5
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Elementary school kid gives girl in class a valentine kisses her, Sexual harassment.

on his record for life

Boy, 9, could face sexual harassment charges over love note - NY Daily News
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Old December 11th, 2017, 04:47 AM   #6
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It's really very simple guys. Be polite, learn to read signals and keep your hands to yourself.

From the site Webguy provided........Although the law doesn’t prohibit simple teasing, offhand comments, or isolated incidents that are not very serious, harassment is illegal when it is so frequent or severe that it creates a hostile or offensive work environment or when it results in an adverse employment decision (such as the victim being fired or demoted).

As for the little boy in Florida.......his parents missed an excellent opportunity to teach him proper behavior after he wrote the girl his first unwanted love note.

From the article TN provided..........They said his pining was inappropriate and came in several "unwanted" letters.
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Old December 11th, 2017, 04:56 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by catus felis View Post
It's really very simple guys. Be polite, learn to read signals and keep your hands to yourself.

From the site Webguy provided........Although the law doesn’t prohibit simple teasing, offhand comments, or isolated incidents that are not very serious, harassment is illegal when it is so frequent or severe that it creates a hostile or offensive work environment or when it results in an adverse employment decision (such as the victim being fired or demoted).

As for the little boy in Florida.......his parents missed an excellent opportunity to teach him proper behavior after he wrote the girl his first unwanted love note.

From the article TN provided..........They said his pining was inappropriate and came in several "unwanted" letters.
Sorry, as much as I enjoy your posts and probably side with you 90% of the time I have to say this... WTF?, "learn to read signals?" Isn't that rather like saying "you just better learn to read women's minds?" OR, "you should have just known what I wanted/didn't want?"

Men do not communicate the same way as women do. A man might very well miss a "signal" such as a slightly curled upper lip or arched eyebrow. If you want to give a man a "signal" it needs to be something a bit more direct, such as "if you do that again I will stab you in the throat." THAT we understand just fine.
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Old December 11th, 2017, 05:23 AM   #8
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Sorry, as much as I enjoy your posts and probably side with you 90% of the time I have to say this... WTF?, "learn to read signals?" Isn't that rather like saying "you just better learn to read women's minds?" OR, "you should have just known what I wanted/didn't want?"

Men do not communicate the same way as women do. A man might very well miss a "signal" such as a slightly curled upper lip or arched eyebrow. If you want to give a man a "signal" it needs to be something a bit more direct, such as "if you do that again I will stab you in the throat." THAT we understand just fine.
Not all signals fall into the micro expression category. The sudden disappearance of a smile is difficult to miss.

Honestly, I think that many men simply chose to ignore 'signals'. I watched a man sit down on a beach very close to a friend of mine. She frowned at him and scooted away from him. He moved closer to her. She scooted away again. The third time he moved in on her she snapped 'get off me'. He got offended, called her a bitch and stalked off.

I used a variant of your 'stab you in the throat' on a man in Mexico. I was lying on a chaise chatting with a friend when a man walked up, sat on the chaise next to me and struck up a normal 'resort conversation'. The next thing I knew his hand was on my upper thigh. In mid sentence I stopped speaking, the smile vanished from my face, was replaced by an extremely displeased expression and my entire body went stiff. He completely ignored all four of those signals. He could not have missed them. It was as if the temperature had dropped 20 degrees. So.......I said......"If you want to keep that hand, I suggest you remove it!". He gave me a dirty look, said "Well, excuse me!" as if he was offended and left.

When a woman does not return your smile, when she moves away from you, when she refuses to make eye contact, when she refuses the drink you sent her, when she becomes completely silent.....these are all signals and not easy to miss......unless a man wants to.

Above all, men should always remember the rule they should have learned in Kindergarten. Keep your hands to yourself.
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Old December 11th, 2017, 06:03 AM   #9
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Not all signals fall into the micro expression category. The sudden disappearance of a smile is difficult to miss.

Honestly, I think that many men simply chose to ignore 'signals'. I watched a man sit down on a beach very close to a friend of mine. She frowned at him and scooted away from him. He moved closer to her. She scooted away again. The third time he moved in on her she snapped 'get off me'. He got offended, called her a bitch and stalked off.

I used a variant of your 'stab you in the throat' on a man in Mexico. I was lying on a chaise chatting with a friend when a man walked up, sat on the chaise next to me and struck up a normal 'resort conversation'. The next thing I knew his hand was on my upper thigh. In mid sentence I stopped speaking, the smile vanished from my face, was replaced by an extremely displeased expression and my entire body went stiff. He completely ignored all four of those signals. He could not have missed them. It was as if the temperature had dropped 20 degrees. So.......I said......"If you want to keep that hand, I suggest you remove it!". He gave me a dirty look, said "Well, excuse me!" as if he was offended and left.

When a woman does not return your smile, when she moves away from you, when she refuses to make eye contact, when she refuses the drink you sent her, when she becomes completely silent.....these are all signals and not easy to miss......unless a man wants to.

Above all, men should always remember the rule they should have learned in Kindergarten. Keep your hands to yourself.
I pretty much agree with you. BUT, you need to remember that women/girls are also adept at the "playing hard to get routine." A frown, a initial polite decline of a drink, CAN be misinterpreted as that.
A "I'll stab you in the throat" or "move that hand or lose it" CANNOT be.
If the man acts offended, tough shit, he'll get over it. Women have been known to give mixed signals.

I saw a comedy routine on HBO some time ago, I think it was one of the guys from the "Blue Collar Comedy" group, that dealt with differences in communication styles between the genders.
He held up a red STOP sign and said, "you see this, a man designed it." "Big red sign with large white letters saying STOP." "no confusing what's expected of you."
Then he turned it around and said "this is what you'd probably see if a woman has designed it." The back of the sign said. "If you cared anything at all about me and my feelings you'd know what I want you to do right now."

COMEDY Catus, don't hurt me. I'm old and fragile!
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Old December 11th, 2017, 06:10 AM   #10
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Doesn’t matter what rules anyone makes, women will always get away with playing the victim.
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