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Old March 1st, 2018, 05:20 AM   #51
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That's basically what we did and it was great. Paying for daycare is one of the stupidest things a young couple can do. After paying for it you end up working all day for little to nothing. All the while someone else is raising your kids along with of a bunch of other peoples kids. Tell your friends fuck anyone who gives them shit. More often then not they are just miserable people projecting their own sadness outwards. Their children will be far better off being around someone day in and day out who actually cares about and is invested in them regardless if they pee sitting down or not. Tell him to find something that he is interested in and try starting a few small businesses. In this day and age all you need is a computer and desire (oh, and to be a capitalist of course) with any luck and thru trial and error by the time the kids go off to school he will have found something that he enjoys. Also look into the unschooling movment.
A positive of being the homemaker is the opportunity to learn about oneself and learn anything else a person is interested in.

I am not so sure the internet means a good income for all who want to work from home. I have not figured out how to do that. A friend went into debt to learn how to make money with her computer and all she got out of that was a debt. Some friends have degrees in computer science and they are still looking for work. I don't think owning a computer and having desire is enough for success.
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Old March 1st, 2018, 06:01 AM   #52
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No. What i said was toxic is this holding onto absurd gender roles that causes problems for women and men.
I have never enjoyed appearing to look like a man. Some women do. I have no desire to be as a man. Some women do. I want to be free to be feminine and cared for. I don't think that is stupid but natural. I think this is my human right, just as it is a right to be different.

I do not see myself as a competitive person, and have a big problem saying "no". I would enjoy having a man in life who is strong in ways I am not, but who is also sensitive and compassionate.

Also, to be honest, I find Aragorn more attractive than Mr. Roger's even though I am glad a man like Mr. Roger existed and influenced children for so many years.

Tribute to Aragorn: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvKTrW35iHY&t=186s

Mr. Rogers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhcNIGeyP6Q

It is perhaps impossible to speak of the ideal man and woman because it isn't just what we think, but also what we feel and our feelings are not logical. I married a motorcycle rider. He was not the husband and father to our children I wanted, but he was sexy and charming and intelligent. Unfortunately, he used his intelligence to know why something couldn't be done, instead of figuring out how to make things work, and being sexy and charming meant females were attracted to him and he was attracted to them. What we want may be the same thing as what we don't want.
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Old March 1st, 2018, 06:34 AM   #53
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The ideal man

I would argue that Aragorn from LOTR would be approaching the ideal man if one were also to add superior intellectual capacities to his character traits as well.

Tribute to Aragorn: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvKTrW35iHY&t=186s
Approaching? That is a heavy geas to lay upon anyone - see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aragorn Aragorn is barely human, in terms of his attributes - He's of noble lineage, holds sacred relics in trust, is a military commander & fighter, a linguist (he learns Elvish, lives among them - he's fostered by Elrond, & woos & wins Elrond's daughter). He's fought against pirates, been a Ranger (one of his family responsibilities/titles). He's gone to the East, he worked/fought(?) in Dwarfish mines & lands.

In short, he's a warrior-king. His gift is leadership & diplomacy, although he apparently also has the kingly grace of healing. He's also - per Wiki - 6'6", & 87 years old (in the prime of his lineage's lifespan) @ the time of the War of the Ring.
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Old March 1st, 2018, 06:54 AM   #54
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The ideal man

I would argue that Aragorn from LOTR would be approaching the ideal man if one were also to add superior intellectual capacities to his character traits as well.

Tribute to Aragorn: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvKTrW35iHY&t=186s
UH, he is also a completely fictional character. He does not exist.
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Old March 1st, 2018, 08:18 AM   #55
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UH, he is also a completely fictional character. He does not exist.
Party pooper. How about Yul Brynner as the king of Siam? Is he fiction too? And Johnny Depp characters aren't real? Come on you are really bumming out my day.

PS I like your Jefferson quote.

King of Siam
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgVPnWmUqd4

Last edited by Athena; March 1st, 2018 at 08:32 AM.
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Old March 1st, 2018, 12:31 PM   #56
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Party pooper. How about Yul Brynner as the king of Siam? Is he fiction too? And Johnny Depp characters aren't real? Come on you are really bumming out my day.

PS I like your Jefferson quote.

King of Siam
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgVPnWmUqd4
Yul Brenner was an actor playing a part, one of many who played that part.
No, I'm afraid that Captain Jack Sparrow is not a real person. Sorry.
Johnny Depp, the actor is real enough.

Did you know that John Wayne did not particularly like horses and that for every cigarette you smoke God takes a minute of your life and gives it to Keith Richards?

Yeah, I love that Jefferson quote to.
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Old March 1st, 2018, 12:40 PM   #57
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What do think is civilized behavior and the human potential? I volunteer when the temporary homeless shelters are activated and I am horrified by our failure to do better for our fellow human beings. I just don't think that failure is very civilized of us.
I also work w/ the homeless. When i stayed home w/ my kids i volunteered around once a week and when they went back to school i turned it into a full time job. I did that for a few years but the politics of non profits got to me and i had to step away.

I believe in NAP and try and live my life accordingly and have tried to pass that onto my kids.
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Old March 1st, 2018, 12:46 PM   #58
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A positive of being the homemaker is the opportunity to learn about oneself and learn anything else a person is interested in.

I am not so sure the internet means a good income for all who want to work from home. I have not figured out how to do that. A friend went into debt to learn how to make money with her computer and all she got out of that was a debt. Some friends have degrees in computer science and they are still looking for work. I don't think owning a computer and having desire is enough for success.
The world is at your disposal w/ the internet. If you have a marketable skill someone out there is willing to pay you to utilize it. I am not talking about "get rich on the internet" scams. I just helped one of my associates get a house cleaning business going. A few years ago she had some spare time when her kids were at school. Today her husband quit his job, both of their kids have joined in and they run i think another 3 or 4 crews. They are as busy as they want to be. You just have to be willing to put yourself out there and not let it get you down if and when one of your ideas fails.
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Old March 1st, 2018, 02:04 PM   #59
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UH, he is also a completely fictional character. He does not exist.
@Hollywood

Note the word "ideal"
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Old March 1st, 2018, 02:07 PM   #60
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Approaching? That is a heavy geas to lay upon anyone - see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aragorn Aragorn is barely human, in terms of his attributes - He's of noble lineage, holds sacred relics in trust, is a military commander & fighter, a linguist (he learns Elvish, lives among them - he's fostered by Elrond, & woos & wins Elrond's daughter). He's fought against pirates, been a Ranger (one of his family responsibilities/titles). He's gone to the East, he worked/fought(?) in Dwarfish mines & lands.

In short, he's a warrior-king. His gift is leadership & diplomacy, although he apparently also has the kingly grace of healing. He's also - per Wiki - 6'6", & 87 years old (in the prime of his lineage's lifespan) @ the time of the War of the Ring.
@Hoosier

The discussion is about the "ideal" man--it is not intended to be an easy standard to match (or surpass)
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