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Old January 10th, 2018, 09:01 AM   #331
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There doesn't seem to be similar advice for men about how to be a better husband out there..unless I've missed them. And online advice for men is mostly accusing women of emasculating men. So the advice boils down to be a bigger asshole. Seems being feminine has already carried a lot implicit baggage with it over the millenia.
The idea here is that.....once the woman has turned herself into a completely submissive sex doll, the man will suddenly cherish, adore and appreciate her to the point that her life is total bliss.

It fails to take into consideration a couple of very important factors. Primarily, personalities and real life.

"The man handles the money"......What if he's no good at it? What if he cares more about his wants than his families needs?

"Be constantly sexually available"......What if you've got a splitting headache and your back is hurting?

"Never criticize or correct him"......What if he's doing something stupid?

Basically, this kind of attitude puts a great deal of pressure on the man to be perfect at all times!

If he's not a combination of Christ, Solomon and Alan Alda; if he is instead a fallible human being subject to the occasional bad mood, it's not going to work.


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Old January 10th, 2018, 09:43 AM   #332
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The idea here is that.....once the woman has turned herself into a completely submissive sex doll, the man will suddenly cherish, adore and appreciate her to the point that her life is total bliss.

It fails to take into consideration a couple of very important factors. Primarily, personalities and real life.

"The man handles the money"......What if he's no good at it? What if he cares more about his wants than his families needs?

"Be constantly sexually available"......What if you've got a splitting headache and your back is hurting?

"Never criticize or correct him"......What if he's doing something stupid?

Basically, this kind of attitude puts a great deal of pressure on the man to be perfect at all times!

If he's not a combination of Christ, Solomon and Alan Alda; if he is instead a fallible human being subject to the occasional bad mood, it's not going to work.


Sorry not one of those is true in a Godly marriage, unless it is a cult, and that is not Godly. I am a Southern Baptist, and that is not what we believe at all!
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Old January 10th, 2018, 09:46 AM   #333
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I read the book when it was first published. I have no objection to being feminine, I just don't agree that it means acting like a subservient child. Marriage, to my mind, is a partnership. Such a disparity between the powers of spouses as Ms. Doyle advocates is not so much a partnership as a relationship between master and trapped employee.

Also, having to deal with a man whose ego is as fragile as a soap bubble would drive me to insanity. Seriously, the only way I could deal, on a daily basis, with a man that insecure in his masculinity would be to be medicated to the point that I would be capable of nothing more than staring off into space while drooling into my lap.

Could it be said then that you are insecure in your femininity? Serious question, are you so tough that you have to act more like a man than a woman, does it not go both ways. It is a partnership but both play a role in that relationship and no, not what you describe me as. Men have been acting like men for how long and now we are just to surrender that, now I for one do not believe in that macho B.S but there is nothing wrong with living out how God wired me.
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Old January 10th, 2018, 09:47 AM   #334
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Sorry not one of those is true in a Godly marriage, unless it is a cult, and that is not Godly. I am a Southern Baptist, and that is not what we believe at all!
That's very nice.

However, we weren't discussing a 'Godly' marriage. We were discussing the book "The Surrendered Wife" by Laura Doyle.



I guess that Ms. Doyles idea of marriage could be called 'Godly' if you consider a woman constantly biting her tongue and thinking "Oh dear God, give me patience" to be 'Godly'.
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Old January 10th, 2018, 09:51 AM   #335
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That's very nice.

However, we weren't discussing a 'Godly' marriage. We were discussing the book "The Surrendered Wife" by Laura Doyle.



I guess that Ms. Doyles idea of marriage could be called 'Godly' if you consider a woman constantly biting her tongue and thinking "Oh dear God, give me patience" to be 'Godly'.
My apologies, and again I do not find any of those things Godly in marriage.
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Old January 10th, 2018, 09:51 AM   #336
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Could it be said then that you are insecure in your femininity? Serious question, are you so tough that you have to act more like a man than a woman, does it not go both ways. It is a partnership but both play a role in that relationship and no, not what you describe me as. Men have been acting like men for how long and now we are just to surrender that, now I for one do not believe in that macho B.S but there is nothing wrong with living out how God wired me.
LOL! I'm not at all insecure in my femininity. I just don't believe that women acting like a brainless sex toys is at all feminine.

I also do not think that a man acting insecure is masculine.


BTW......if God had wired men to always handle the money in a marriage, then there would be no married men who are bad at money matters, or who care more about their wants than their families needs.

Unfortunately, this is not true at all.
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Old January 10th, 2018, 09:54 AM   #337
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My apologies, and again I do not find any of those things Godly in marriage.
Apology accepted.

However, you have stated that you believe the man being the 'final say' as regards money is 'Godly'

I disagree.
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Old January 10th, 2018, 09:55 AM   #338
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Apology accepted.

However, you have stated that you believe the man being the 'final say' as regards money is 'Godly'

I disagree.
But only when it has been discussed, and no answer is found, the wife is still involved, it is last resort.
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Old January 10th, 2018, 09:57 AM   #339
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LOL! I'm not at all insecure in my femininity. I just don't believe that women acting like a brainless sex toys is at all feminine.

I also do not think that a man acting insecure is masculine.


BTW......if God had wired men to always handle the money in a marriage, then there would be no married men who are bad at money matters, or who care more about their wants than their families needs.

Unfortunately, this is not true at all.
Nor do I, on your first two points.

Having men handle the money is no issue with me, that is not the wiring i am talking about, do you agree men are wired differently then women.
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Old January 10th, 2018, 10:02 AM   #340
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But only when it has been discussed, and no answer is found, the wife is still involved, it is last resort.
Well how magnanimous of you to do her the honor of discussing it with her.

However, that does nothing to change the fact that you both know going into that discussion that YOU get the final say.

So other than propping up your ego, why should she bother?

Because sometimes you let her win? Why am I getting the mental picture of a dog doing a trick for a treat?
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