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  • 4 Post By skews13
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Old October 7th, 2014, 07:35 AM   #1
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Man Infected With Ebola Misinformation Through Casual Contact With Cable News




CANTON, OH (The Borowitz Report)—An Ohio man has become infected with misinformation about the Ebola virus through casual contact with cable news, the Centers for Disease Control has confirmed.

Tracy Klugian, thirty-one, briefly came into contact with alarmist Ebola hearsay during a visit to the Akron-Canton airport, where a CNN report about Ebola was showing on one of the televisions in the airport bar.

“Mr. Klugian is believed to have been exposed to cable news for no more than ten minutes, but long enough to become infected,” a spokesman for the C.D.C. said. “Within an hour, he was showing signs of believing that an Ebola outbreak in the United States was inevitable and unstoppable.”

Once Klugian’s condition was apparent, the Ohio man was rushed to a public library and given a seventh-grade biology textbook, at which point he “started to stabilize,” the spokesman said.

But others exposed to the widening epidemic of Ebola misinformation may not be so lucky. “A man in Oklahoma was exposed to Elisabeth Hasselbeck on Fox for over three minutes,” the C.D.C. spokesman said gravely. “We hope we’re not too late.”
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Old October 7th, 2014, 09:03 AM   #2
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You beat me to it skews. I just saw this and was about to post it myself. This is not only hilarious but spot on.
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Old October 7th, 2014, 09:23 AM   #3
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Spare us!

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Originally Posted by Camelot View Post
You beat me to it skews. I just saw this and was about to post it myself. This is not only hilarious but spot on.

Oh no! Not the deadly spotted fever! It starts out as "I spy with my little eye, " & progresses from there.

V. related to bad actors in costume, mouthing "A horse, a horse, my kingdom ..."
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