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Old July 31st, 2017, 03:23 PM   #81
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Originally Posted by BubbaJones View Post
OUCHA, and is she the one you mentioned earlier, essentially hooking, multiple marriages etc etc ??

That's her.

Have you, or she for that matter, ever thought that this indecent might have been root of her dysfunction ? That dad's nuclear reaction might have left her with some seriously unresolved feelings about sex and sexuality ?? I'm no shrink but that clearly has all the markings of a specific moment where the adult did incredible harm.
Actually, the root of her dysfunction happened much earlier. She was 22 months old when I was born as WAS NOT happy about having a baby sister. My mother consoled her by telling her that it was 'ok' because 'she was the pretty one'. And it's true...as small children she was prettier. Instead of making her deal with not being an only child as she got older, she just kept pushing the 'you're the pretty one' button.

Unfortunately for my sister, things can change as children grow. And they did. By junior high, she wasn't the 'pretty one' any more. She dealt with her 'little sister' having more boys interested in her by 'putting out'. She'd already discovered booze and pot and put two and two together and came up with a way to pay for them.
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Old July 31st, 2017, 03:23 PM   #82
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Ohes Noes, I'm sure Sensible thinks CF's dad did almost the right thing. It would have been perfect if he had beat her some too.
He did.
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Old July 31st, 2017, 07:10 PM   #83
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So how do you put a stop to it? Without harming the children?

Personally, I would like to see certain programs changed. Food assistance for instance. You should be limited as to what you can purchase with EBT. Things such as soda and junk food should not be allowed.

I would like to see government assisted housing changed also. Perhaps if we went back to the idea of apartment type complexes instead of assisting with renting a house in the suburbs, people would be more eager to get off government assistance.

However, in order to get off government assistance more affordable education will have to be available.




I sorry that you had to go thru that. Both situations have the potential to be vicious cycles that require a lot of personal strength to break. There defiantly is no one size fits all solution. Again it is things like these differences that make life both difficult and precious.


There has to be a way to allow people in these situations to earn their checks. Think of all of the government jobs that require little skill and who's salaries are inflated tied w/ benefits and retirement packages. Two birds. We could put people in need in entry level government jobs for a short period giving them on the job training.

I don't know there has to be a way Not to just reward people for bad behavior. Maybe The few bad apples apples here but the fact of the matter is that it is a reality, I have seen it numerous times and the thing is people who see children as a means to an end are not the people who should be raising children, much less a whole mess of them, yet we as a society reward thus behavior w/ luxuries that the rest has to work for.

Last edited by Sabcat; July 31st, 2017 at 07:15 PM.
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Old July 31st, 2017, 07:35 PM   #84
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I sorry that you had to go thru that. Both situations have the potential to be vicious cycles that require a lot of personal strength to break. There defiantly is no one size fits all solution. Again it is things like these differences that make life both difficult and precious.


There has to be a way to allow people in these situations to earn their checks. Think of all of the government jobs that require little skill and who's salaries are inflated tied w/ benefits and retirement packages. Two birds. We could put people in need in entry level government jobs for a short period giving them on the job training.

I don't know there has to be a way Not to just reward people for bad behavior. Maybe The few bad apples apples here but the fact of the matter is that it is a reality, I have seen it numerous times and the thing is people who see children as a means to an end are not the people who should be raising children, much less a whole mess of them, yet we as a society reward thus behavior w/ luxuries that the rest has to work for.
Agreed, but that's at best half of the problem.

We're poisoning ourselves with the food we eat. The goal of food production is maximized profits. Everything is sacrificed to that goal, including food quality, and environmental impacts.

We're continuously exposed to thousands of chemicals we've introduced into the ecosystem. Few have been actually tested to gauge their effects on the ecosystem, and us. I doubt that any have been tested in tandem to gauge those effects on us.

We as a society have a "deplorable" attitude toward sexuality. That's no so uncommon in this world, but we make no good effort towards lifting our expectations, of ourselves, mainly.

And as I've been harping on for a week or so, the root of the causes above is materialism. It's a disease. It's curable, but requires effort.
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Old July 31st, 2017, 07:51 PM   #85
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Agreed, but that's at best half of the problem.

We're poisoning ourselves with the food we eat. The goal of food production is maximized profits. Everything is sacrificed to that goal, including food quality, and environmental impacts.

We're continuously exposed to thousands of chemicals we've introduced into the ecosystem. Few have been actually tested to gauge their effects on the ecosystem, and us. I doubt that any have been tested in tandem to gauge those effects on us.

We as a society have a "deplorable" attitude toward sexuality. That's no so uncommon in this world, but we make no good effort towards lifting our expectations, of ourselves, mainly.

And as I've been harping on for a week or so, the root of the causes above is materialism. It's a disease. It's curable, but requires effort.
Greed will destroy us all eventually. It won't be the existence of legal abortion, or gay marriage, or transgenders, or illegal aliens or even armed invaders, it will be greed. Pure and simple.
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Old August 1st, 2017, 03:21 AM   #86
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Ohes Noes, I'm sure Sensible thinks CF's dad did almost the right thing. It would have been perfect if he had beat her some too.
That is not true at all but I still say she was abused by someone, it makes more sense. The case with most who have perverted lifestyles stems from an abuse of some kind early on. This is a realization I came to long ago, after knowing of kids who were homosexual and finding out later they were abused early in life.

My humblest apologies to Catus she seems like a decent person although I disagree with her.
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Old August 1st, 2017, 04:23 AM   #87
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That is not true at all but I still say she was abused by someone, it makes more sense. The case with most who have perverted lifestyles stems from an abuse of some kind early on. This is a realization I came to long ago, after knowing of kids who were homosexual and finding out later they were abused early in life.

My humblest apologies to Catus she seems like a decent person although I disagree with her.
Ah yes, the old "knowing of kids who were homosexual and finding out later they were abused early in life". Why even have peer reviewed journals? Sensible has saved the medical community years of expensive research and studies.
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Old August 1st, 2017, 04:37 AM   #88
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I sorry that you had to go thru that. Both situations have the potential to be vicious cycles that require a lot of personal strength to break. There defiantly is no one size fits all solution. Again it is things like these differences that make life both difficult and precious.

The abusive father situation? I learned at a very young age to stay out of his way. Actually, I had to put up with more abuse from my sister than my father. Once I was old enough to get my own place, I slowly eased her out of my life. My kid brother did the same thing. She's 60 now and, I understand, still pissed at not being an only child.

There has to be a way to allow people in these situations to earn their checks. Think of all of the government jobs that require little skill and who's salaries are inflated tied w/ benefits and retirement packages. Two birds. We could put people in need in entry level government jobs for a short period giving them on the job training.

I don't know there has to be a way Not to just reward people for bad behavior. Maybe The few bad apples apples here but the fact of the matter is that it is a reality, I have seen it numerous times and the thing is people who see children as a means to an end are not the people who should be raising children, much less a whole mess of them, yet we as a society reward thus behavior w/ luxuries that the rest has to work for.
I totally agree with the jobs idea. A woman I used to know was getting SSI checks because she was 'blind'. However, she had a part time job that required being able to see and a valid drivers license. She got away with it for years because no one ever checked. With today's computers cross checking the drivers license/traffic ticket records with the SSI lists could be done from a persons home. If needed, first a few months of computer training, then they start working.

Educational programs could also be required and done from home. Specifically, parenting classes! I cannot count the number of times I have wanted to walk up to a complete strangers child and give them the 'look' and say "Stop. That. Right. Now!". Actually, I did that once. I was pumping gas and in the car on the other side of the pump were two little boys. One was poking the other and the pokee was whining 'stop touching me' over and over and over. I was having a bad day and it was getting on my last nerve. I finally walked around the pump, glared at the kid, and in my firmest 'mom' voice to him 'Stop Touching Him'. LOL! They both immediately sat bolt upright, went silent, and didn't move. As I walked into the store to pay for my gas, a young woman....I'm guessing their mother, stuck her head out of the door and yelled at the two boys..."There's a cop in here and he's going to get you if you don't act right". My first thought was 'oh crap! I need to pay for my gas and get out of here before her kids tell her what happened and she sic's the cop on me!'.




Unfortunately, there are always going to be those few bad apples who milk the system. I hate the fact that they get rewarded for their behavior, but I also cringe at the idea that stopping them could lead to an innocent child going hungry.
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Old August 1st, 2017, 04:40 AM   #89
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That is not true at all but I still say she was abused by someone, it makes more sense. The case with most who have perverted lifestyles stems from an abuse of some kind early on. This is a realization I came to long ago, after knowing of kids who were homosexual and finding out later they were abused early in life.

My humblest apologies to Catus she seems like a decent person although I disagree with her.
I accept your apology, but I am very unsure as to whether or not I care to engage with you again. I will have to wait and see how you behave.
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Old August 1st, 2017, 05:02 AM   #90
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Ah yes, the old "knowing of kids who were homosexual and finding out later they were abused early in life". Why even have peer reviewed journals? Sensible has saved the medical community years of expensive research and studies.
My sisters problems did not stem from sexual abuse. They stemmed from never being made to accept that she had younger siblings and being constantly told, from the age of 22 months that 'she was the pretty one'. Things got worse when I was 6 months old and started talking. I was using full sentences before I was a year old. Needless to say, this attracted attention when our mom took us places. My sister did not like that at all, so my mom switched to 'she's the smart one and you're the pretty one, and being pretty is much more important'.

We both believed this up until a day when she was in 9th grade and I was in 8th grade. She experienced a shocking and humiliating experience of being publicly laughed at by her peers for saying, when asked if I was her sister, "Yeah. I'm the pretty one". Teenagers can be cruel, and they were for quite some time.

My mother had always allowed her to get away with violent behavior towards me but after that incident she went too far, right in front of my mother, who did nothing. I could have been seriously injured and when mom didn't do a thing my sister gave me that smug smirk I had seen so damn many times. It was one time too many. I put her head through the kitchen wall and told her that if she ever touched me again, I would kill her. There must have been "Something" in my face or tone of voice because she never physically attacked me again.

That's when her behavior started going seriously down hill.
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