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Old February 16th, 2018, 11:48 AM   #61
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Nope. But I'll put it on my list.
I saw it years ago, good movie.
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Old February 16th, 2018, 12:14 PM   #62
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Then it is a problem that is both psychotically/emotional and physical in nature. I stated some time ago that therapy should also be done along with hormone or other drug treatments.

It goes back to the VALUE placed on something. Why would not women IMMEDIATELY do something about it as soon as they stop really enjoying sex with their husband? You imply that the problem has been going on "long enough" before they announce hubby is being "cut off." I can guarantee you the vast majority of men will start trying to do something about the problem the minute it rears it's ugly head.

I propose, AS A THEORY, that the less sex is needed to obtain for SOME women her social/financial/emotional & maternal needs/desires the less she values it.
Whereas men value sex just for itself, the experience.

MAYBE Mother Nature is just a mean bitch. Back before antibiotics and modern medicine one of the most dangerous things a woman could do was give birth. BUT, it was necessary to continue the species and sex was necessary to get pregnant. Once a woman has gone through menopause she can no longer have children so sex is no longer necessary so much of the natural DESIRE goes away to one extent or another.
Curiously enough many men can produce enough live sperm to produce children well into old age, even their 80's or older. So their desire for sex does not go away completely, or at least as drastically. Mother nature did not make impregnating a woman a life threatening event like is was for a woman to give birth.

The human being and nature is a fascinating and complex creation. Sexuality is just one of the many fascinating and complex subjects.
Emphasis and coloring...mine.

Simply put, because when it comes to sex.....too many men have egos that are WAY too fragile and they cannot deal with that kind of reality.

Of all the women who have discussed their sexual problems with me.....and we're talking quite a few....those who tried talking to their husbands about it ended up wishing to hell that they had just faked it instead.

I agree with Mother Nature being a mean bitch. Perhaps science should worry less about coming up with new ED meds and concentrate on meds that lower a mans sex drive? Just think how much less stress the average couple would have to deal with.
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Old February 16th, 2018, 12:17 PM   #63
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Watch the movies I mentioned in post #53. Feeling the urge for sex, is far different from understanding the passion that turns a woman on. Far too men think sex is all about them and they do it as though the woman they are doing it with might as well be a pump for his pleasure, except she is supposed to give him back reassurance that he is the cause of her ecstasy. What in blazes do men think they have that makes them so desirable that just being f--- by them is suppose to put her in a state of ecstasy? Sorry guys, but as you need to feel like the most desirable man on earth, she needs to feel like the most desirable woman on earth. If she is thinking about a vacation they are planning, to distract herself from the unpleasantness of what he is doing to her body for his own pleasure, it is not a good experience for her. Watch the movie.

The Johnny Depp movie Don Juan does an excellent job of explaining.

Ever read "Southern Ladies and Gentlemen" by Florence King? She has a line in there that basically says.......'men think that the penis is a plug and the vagina is a socket and that when they are connected.....all is blinding light for the woman.'.

Dear God in heaven, I know too many men like that.
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Old February 16th, 2018, 12:37 PM   #64
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Ever read "Southern Ladies and Gentlemen" by Florence King? She has a line in there that basically says.......'men think that the penis is a plug and the vagina is a socket and that when they are connected.....all is blinding light for the woman.'.

Dear God in heaven, I know too many men like that.
Ok, that is a funny line.

The core problem is lack of honest and open communication. TELL a man what you want/need. The crap of "well, you just should have known" is horseshit and ALMOST as bad as "well, if you REALLY loved me you would just KNOW."
We do NOT read minds. TELL us, feel free to use visual aids, pictures, videos, whatever. Most of us won't mind at all.
Don't fake orgasms/pleasure, and lie, and THEN blame the guy on a poor sexual relationship.
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Old February 16th, 2018, 12:53 PM   #65
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Ok, that is a funny line.

The core problem is lack of honest and open communication. TELL a man what you want/need. The crap of "well, you just should have known" is horseshit and ALMOST as bad as "well, if you REALLY loved me you would just KNOW."
We do NOT read minds. TELL us, feel free to use visual aids, pictures, videos, whatever. Most of us won't mind at all.
Don't fake orgasms/pleasure, and lie, and THEN blame the guy on a poor sexual relationship.
I wish I could agree with you, but experience has taught me that the men you can 'guide' without damaging their egos are few and far between.

Example.....a girlfriend of mine was having sex with a new guy. He was using his hand to 'stimulate' her. He was doing it, according to her, WAY too hard. She touched his hand and told him 'gently'. Not in an angry way. Very....well....gently. He stopped, looked at her and said......I shit you not...."you haven't been fingered in a while."!

Seriously, his ego regarding his sexual prowess was THAT damn delicate.

Unfortunately, that kind of reaction to 'instructions' is not rare.
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Old February 16th, 2018, 01:13 PM   #66
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I wish I could agree with you, but experience has taught me that the men you can 'guide' without damaging their egos are few and far between.

Example.....a girlfriend of mine was having sex with a new guy. He was using his hand to 'stimulate' her. He was doing it, according to her, WAY too hard. She touched his hand and told him 'gently'. Not in an angry way. Very....well....gently. He stopped, looked at her and said......I shit you not...."you haven't been fingered in a while."!

Seriously, his ego regarding his sexual prowess was THAT damn delicate.

Unfortunately, that kind of reaction to 'instructions' is not rare.
A lot of people, most people, maybe everyone, is messed up, some more than others.
And one of the things we do, is get really defensive, especially about stuff like sex, where we have a huge amount of our self image wrapped up in doing something well, that very possibly no one ever showed us how to do right.
Some of us have been fortunate enough to have a lover who could let us know what works and what doesn't in a way that makes us think we figured it out, and by the time we do know the score, we are more grateful than ego bruised.
And some of us have learned that no two people are alike, and what one person likes, another person doesn't, and that communication is very important to the process, and that most people are happy to let you know what they like, at least the ones that will get naked with you, as they have a vested interest....
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Old February 16th, 2018, 01:50 PM   #67
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I wish I could agree with you, but experience has taught me that the men you can 'guide' without damaging their egos are few and far between.

Example.....a girlfriend of mine was having sex with a new guy. He was using his hand to 'stimulate' her. He was doing it, according to her, WAY too hard. She touched his hand and told him 'gently'. Not in an angry way. Very....well....gently. He stopped, looked at her and said......I shit you not...."you haven't been fingered in a while."!

Seriously, his ego regarding his sexual prowess was THAT damn delicate.

Unfortunately, that kind of reaction to 'instructions' is not rare.
That really is SOOO very sad. I ASK for instructions. I WANT to know how to please you.

My theory is, if I'm any good at it, my partner will WANT repeat performances.

I figured out at a fairly young age that men are pretty easy to satisfy, it's the women that take a little time and attention. But if you ask, most will tell you everything you need to know. I've never quite understood the reluctance of men to ask what their partners want in the bedroom.

Of course the rest of the story is, the vast majority of people in this country are seriously messed up in the head about sex and sexuality. The best description of American sexual psychosis I ever heard was that we're puritanical hypocrites. We get very conflicting points of view about what is or isn't acceptable. About what is or isn't normal. We are very quick to apply labels to anyone we perceive is being different sexually. Personally I think it's worse for women.
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Old February 16th, 2018, 02:53 PM   #68
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I wish I could agree with you, but experience has taught me that the men you can 'guide' without damaging their egos are few and far between.

Example.....a girlfriend of mine was having sex with a new guy. He was using his hand to 'stimulate' her. He was doing it, according to her, WAY too hard. She touched his hand and told him 'gently'. Not in an angry way. Very....well....gently. He stopped, looked at her and said......I shit you not...."you haven't been fingered in a while."!

Seriously, his ego regarding his sexual prowess was THAT damn delicate.

Unfortunately, that kind of reaction to 'instructions' is not rare.

Screw their egos, you want a good sex life or don't you? Need I say I don't mean "you" personally but am addressing women in general?
Once agin, it goes to honest communication and how highly you value something.
A women will tell a prospective mate what kind of cooking she likes, what are her favorite TV shows, how she expects household chores to be shared, how to manage their finances, what color the bridesmaids dresses will be and what she wants to name their future children, whether she likes cats dogs or both, BUT FORGET TO MENTION WHAT SHE WANTS/NEEDS SEXUALLY? Explain that to me please.

The guy was a bum, she should dump him immediately. In that situation I will tell a woman from the very start, "tell me what you need, faster, slower, harder, softer whatever."
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Old February 17th, 2018, 04:25 AM   #69
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Screw their egos, you want a good sex life or don't you? Need I say I don't mean "you" personally but am addressing women in general?
Once agin, it goes to honest communication and how highly you value something.
A women will tell a prospective mate what kind of cooking she likes, what are her favorite TV shows, how she expects household chores to be shared, how to manage their finances, what color the bridesmaids dresses will be and what she wants to name their future children, whether she likes cats dogs or both, BUT FORGET TO MENTION WHAT SHE WANTS/NEEDS SEXUALLY? Explain that to me please.

The guy was a bum, she should dump him immediately. In that situation I will tell a woman from the very start, "tell me what you need, faster, slower, harder, softer whatever."
Well Hollywood, I know a lot of women who wish men were more like you when it comes to sexual instruction. Unfortunately, a lot of men simply can't deal with the reality that they aren't the greatest lover a woman could ever know and that there are some things regarding sex that they don't know.

(I actually had a male neighbor....a grown freaking man in his 30's....tell me that I was setting my son up for an unsatisfactory sex life by not having him circumcised at birth. During the course of the conversation it became clear that he HONESTLY thought that the head of the penis stayed covered by the foreskin all the time, even while erect. He absolutely refused to believe my insistence that it didn't. His argument was basically....."I know more about dicks than you do". The 'discussion' ended when I said...."Perhaps you're correct. For all I know you might have had more sexual experience with uncircumcised men than *I* have.". For some reason he didn't like me very much after that. Btw....according to his wife, he was lousy in bed.)

Personally, I think that every male, when he turns 18, should be given an instruction course by an older woman.

As a girlfriend of mine who was having a fling with the 18 year old who mowed her lawn put it.........."Someday, some woman will thank me!".
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Old February 17th, 2018, 04:30 AM   #70
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That really is SOOO very sad. I ASK for instructions. I WANT to know how to please you.

My theory is, if I'm any good at it, my partner will WANT repeat performances.

I figured out at a fairly young age that men are pretty easy to satisfy, it's the women that take a little time and attention. But if you ask, most will tell you everything you need to know. I've never quite understood the reluctance of men to ask what their partners want in the bedroom.

Of course the rest of the story is, the vast majority of people in this country are seriously messed up in the head about sex and sexuality. The best description of American sexual psychosis I ever heard was that we're puritanical hypocrites. We get very conflicting points of view about what is or isn't acceptable. About what is or isn't normal. We are very quick to apply labels to anyone we perceive is being different sexually. Personally I think it's worse for women.
Good for you Bubba!

I've often wondered if some men's objection to instructions from women comes from a deep seated subconscious desire for 'virginal' women. A woman who knows what she wants has obviously had some experience.
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