Political Forums  

Go Back   Defending The Truth Political Forum > Political Issues > Social Issues

Social Issues Social Issues and Problems - Social issues, social ill, social problems


Thanks Tree74Thanks
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old February 17th, 2018, 01:28 PM   #81
Senior Member
 
BubbaJones's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Middle Tennessee
Posts: 7,336
Quote:
Originally Posted by catus felis View Post
Good for you Bubba!

I've often wondered if some men's objection to instructions from women comes from a deep seated subconscious desire for 'virginal' women. A woman who knows what she wants has obviously had some experience.
And that is exactly it. Even THE most competitive men, the type that will literally lay $20 on the table and go outside for a pissing contest, does NOT want to "compete" in the bedroom. The very thought that some previous lover was in any way better in bed than he is, is absolutely terrifying.

But added to that is the Madonna Whore complex that most western males carry around with them. It's the source of the double standard. It gets beat into us from a very early age. The two most famous women in our culture are the two Marys from the bible. One the virgin, the mother of GOD no less, the other is the Magdalene, the whore !!

The "good girls" gets the hubby, the big diamond ring, the house in the burbs, the mini van, the 2.5 kids and the golden retriever and put on a pedestal. The "bad girls" are to be used and enjoyed but never married or allowed to become "respectable". This is why many men will sleep with almost anything in a skirt, but when time comes to get married they seek out someone less experienced, if not a virgin.

Put these two things together and a woman that knows her way around the bedroom, knows and understands her own sexuality is damned scary to them.

I've also known more than a few women who had good sex lives when they first dated and got married. But, once they had children their husbands changed. The HUBBY no longer wanted the good sex. It quickly becomes missionary with the lights off. In many cases he doesn't even realize that he has changed. But it goes back to the two Marys again. The average western male doesn't want someone that could even in the slightest be labeled as slutish or whorish as the mother of HIS children. They will complain to all their buddies about the lack of both quantity and quality of their sex lives, not realizing, or wanting to admit, they are the reason for the less than satisfying sex life.

In the ultimate turn of irony the same man that refuses to have the fun, interesting and satisfying sex with his wife and the mother of his children, has no problem banging the hell out of the mother of someone else's children. The second wife, even if she has children from a previous relationship, will in many cases have a far better sex life.
Thanks from catus felis and Athena
BubbaJones is offline  
Old February 17th, 2018, 07:01 PM   #82
Senior Member
 
Hollywood's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Memphis, Tn.
Posts: 22,177
Quote:
Originally Posted by BubbaJones View Post
And that is exactly it. Even THE most competitive men, the type that will literally lay $20 on the table and go outside for a pissing contest, does NOT want to "compete" in the bedroom. The very thought that some previous lover was in any way better in bed than he is, is absolutely terrifying.

But added to that is the Madonna Whore complex that most western males carry around with them. It's the source of the double standard. It gets beat into us from a very early age. The two most famous women in our culture are the two Marys from the bible. One the virgin, the mother of GOD no less, the other is the Magdalene, the whore !!

The "good girls" gets the hubby, the big diamond ring, the house in the burbs, the mini van, the 2.5 kids and the golden retriever and put on a pedestal. The "bad girls" are to be used and enjoyed but never married or allowed to become "respectable". This is why many men will sleep with almost anything in a skirt, but when time comes to get married they seek out someone less experienced, if not a virgin.

Put these two things together and a woman that knows her way around the bedroom, knows and understands her own sexuality is damned scary to them.

I've also known more than a few women who had good sex lives when they first dated and got married. But, once they had children their husbands changed. The HUBBY no longer wanted the good sex. It quickly becomes missionary with the lights off. In many cases he doesn't even realize that he has changed. But it goes back to the two Marys again. The average western male doesn't want someone that could even in the slightest be labeled as slutish or whorish as the mother of HIS children. They will complain to all their buddies about the lack of both quantity and quality of their sex lives, not realizing, or wanting to admit, they are the reason for the less than satisfying sex life.

In the ultimate turn of irony the same man that refuses to have the fun, interesting and satisfying sex with his wife and the mother of his children, has no problem banging the hell out of the mother of someone else's children. The second wife, even if she has children from a previous relationship, will in many cases have a far better sex life.
Interesting, but not sure I agree 100%.
I will agree that religion, particularly conservative Christian, in this country at least, fucks up a lot of people's attitudes towards sex.
Part of it goes WAAAY back in western culture and paternalistic societies (right word?) customs societies. The oldest son inherited the land and property 2nd and 3rd sons were allocated to the priesthood and/or the military by tradition.
And the ONLY sure way for the landed gentry to be certain that son was theirs was by marrying a certified virgin. This was all long before DNA tests and 1-800-who'smydaddy. In some cultures there had to be witnesses to the consummation of the marriage and there had better be blood on the sheets as "evidence."
Prostitution was common and widespread in the U.S. prior to the 20th century and it was subtly condoned by the wives. The idea being that the husband could have good old nasty SEX with the whores and sex with the wife was reserved for procreation. That a "decent wife" should not have to "submit to" sex for fun. The wife was not supposed to enjoy sex, it was a "duty" and primary to produce children.
There are fewer things than sex that screw up westerners, Americans in particular it seems.
IMHO of course.
Thanks from catus felis
Hollywood is offline  
Old February 18th, 2018, 04:46 AM   #83
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,595
I have a 1933 book titled Eugenics and Sex Harmony by Herman H. Rubin, M.D.. He suggests we teach people birth control, so women stop sending their wives to prostitutes. He thought prostitution was immoral. He and others of his day, thought a husband and wife should enjoy their sexual relationship.

But as has been said, was the problem of good women supposedly not desiring sex. Back in the day, a lot could be wrong with the relationship, marriage being an economic/social arrangement not for the pleasure of the people. That probably made it easier for women to not enjoy sex. Good sex comes out of a good relationship and I don't think many people had good relationships.

My grandmother's generation was Victorian. She and her friends certainly thought sex was for animals, not humans. That and the Great Depression lead to many divorces. We swung from women binding their breast to women wearing bras (my mother's generation) and the new bra wearing generation became the pin-up girls of WWII. As we know things got even looser after the war and really loose in the 60's forward. Now we seem to be swinging back to a more Victorian attitude. The history of such swings is interesting.

Quote:
History of Victorian Morality and the Royal Family
king george IVTwo hundred years before Victoria took the throne, the Puritan Republican Movement had temporarily overthrown the British monarchy. While England had been a Republic, strict moral codes had been imposed on people and even the celebration of Christmas had been abolished. As soon as the monarchy had been restored, a period of loose living debauchery had followed to rebel against the years of repression. The two forces of Puritanism and Liberty influenced Great Britain enormously. They especially influenced the public perception of the Hanoverian monarchs. George IV for example was perceived as a pleasure-seeking playboy, whose time in office mostly caused scandals.
When Victoria took the throne, the gap and interplay between high cultural morals and low vulgarity was strongly embedded in British culture.

Queen Victoria and Albert

The Queen's and her husband's attitude about sexual morality evolved out of their knowledge of the morally lacking life of the previous monarchs and the effect that their behavior had had on the public opinion towards the crown. Victoria's husband, Prince Albert, had suffered from the divorce of his parents who had both been involved in public sexual scandals. Therefore their moral code was rather high.
Athena is offline  
Old February 18th, 2018, 05:08 AM   #84
Beach Goddess
 
catus felis's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: arkansas
Posts: 4,634
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hollywood View Post
Oh, so sorry to hear about your injury, broken ribs are so painful and can take a long time to heal.
Once again, it's all about communication and how highly something is valued. Each individual has to make his/her choices.
As you say, some women are willing to put up with ridiculous bullshit in order to "not be alone." I have a woman friend that has been married to this guy for like 20 years and every time we talk all she does is complain about him. I tell her to dump the guy if that's the way she feels. THEN she whines, but then I'll be an almost 50 year old woman and ALONE! As if that is some sort of tragedy or something. When I point out that OK you have made your choice then, so stop constantly bitching about it if you do not intend to do something about it she gets mad at me.

Reminds me of an old joke. An elderly couple walks into a lawyers office and tell him they want to get a divorce. The lawyer says it's kind of unusual for a couple their age to divorce and asks their ages and how long they have been married.
The man says, well I'm 96 and mu wife is 92 and we've been married for 72 years. The lawyer says and after all this time you want to divorce NOW???
The wife says, well we were just waiting for the children to die.
I don't get the 'I'll be alone' either. How is that worse than being with someone you can't stand?
Thanks from Clara007
catus felis is offline  
Old February 18th, 2018, 05:45 AM   #85
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,595
Quote:
Originally Posted by catus felis View Post
I don't get the 'I'll be alone' either. How is that worse than being with someone you can't stand?
I much rather be alone and free than trapped with someone who makes me unhappy. It took me awhile to adjust to my freedom, but now, it would take an extremely special man to get me to give up my freedom. After my marriage, it took me too many years to learn to be happy again. Why would a sane person give up happiness to be the extension of what another human being wants?
Thanks from Hollywood, Clara007 and Lyssa
Athena is offline  
Old February 18th, 2018, 05:47 AM   #86
Beach Goddess
 
catus felis's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: arkansas
Posts: 4,634
Quote:
Originally Posted by Athena View Post
I much rather be alone and free than trapped with someone who makes me unhappy. It took me awhile to adjust to my freedom, but now, it would take an extremely special man to get me to give up my freedom. After my marriage, it took me too many years to learn to be happy again. Why would a sane person give up happiness to be the extension of what another human being wants?
Beats the hell outa me. If I don't get a certain amount of 'alone' time, I tend to go a little bit insane.
Thanks from Clara007
catus felis is offline  
Old February 18th, 2018, 05:59 AM   #87
Senior Member
 
Hollywood's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Memphis, Tn.
Posts: 22,177
Quote:
Originally Posted by Athena View Post
I have a 1933 book titled Eugenics and Sex Harmony by Herman H. Rubin, M.D.. He suggests we teach people birth control, so women stop sending their wives to prostitutes. He thought prostitution was immoral. He and others of his day, thought a husband and wife should enjoy their sexual relationship.

But as has been said, was the problem of good women supposedly not desiring sex. Back in the day, a lot could be wrong with the relationship, marriage being an economic/social arrangement not for the pleasure of the people. That probably made it easier for women to not enjoy sex. Good sex comes out of a good relationship and I don't think many people had good relationships.

My grandmother's generation was Victorian. She and her friends certainly thought sex was for animals, not humans. That and the Great Depression lead to many divorces. We swung from women binding their breast to women wearing bras (my mother's generation) and the new bra wearing generation became the pin-up girls of WWII. As we know things got even looser after the war and really loose in the 60's forward. Now we seem to be swinging back to a more Victorian attitude. The history of such swings is interesting.
Sounds like a very interesting book, makes some good points.
We all seem to forget at times that the entire notion of romantic love as the sole reason for marriage is relatively new historically. Throughout most of history arranged marriages were the norm. And still not all that uncommon in some cultures.
Thanks from catus felis
Hollywood is offline  
Old February 18th, 2018, 06:07 AM   #88
Beach Goddess
 
catus felis's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: arkansas
Posts: 4,634
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hollywood View Post
Sounds like a very interesting book, makes some good points.
We all seem to forget at times that the entire notion of romantic love as the sole reason for marriage is relatively new historically. Throughout most of history arranged marriages were the norm. And still not all that uncommon in some cultures.
I think that's why some marriages fail. That 'head over heels in love' feeling doesn't last.

If that's the only thing a couple has going for them they can end up finding themselves married to someone they don't like.
catus felis is offline  
Old February 18th, 2018, 06:10 AM   #89
Senior Member
 
Hollywood's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Memphis, Tn.
Posts: 22,177
Quote:
Originally Posted by catus felis View Post
I don't get the 'I'll be alone' either. How is that worse than being with someone you can't stand?
Yep, what could be worse that being with someone every day that just irritates the hell out of you? I have actually heard people express profound relief at the death of a long term spouse!
It's crazy IMO. I've always told my sons, if a relational/marriage is sick do all you can to make it well and whole again. Invest a reasonable amount of time in that effort but if it proves to be hopeless end in, walk away no matter what the cost. You have ONE life, it's foolish to spend most of it misery.
This "one true love" and "soul mate" crap is nonsense, made up to sell faikry tales and romance novel. There are plenty of people one can spend a happy and content life with if a little effort is applied.
Thanks from catus felis
Hollywood is offline  
Old February 18th, 2018, 06:21 AM   #90
Senior Member
 
Hollywood's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Memphis, Tn.
Posts: 22,177
Quote:
Originally Posted by catus felis View Post
I think that's why some marriages fail. That 'head over heels in love' feeling doesn't last.

If that's the only thing a couple has going for them they can end up finding themselves married to someone they don't like.
Agreed. I have a theory that the whole "madly in love" thing is like a chemical bond that is to a large degree temporary, lasting maybe six months, maybe six years.
A "glue" that holds a couple together long enough for them to figure out a way to live together in relative peace and harmony. As the binding "glue" loosens it's grip over time it is replaced with the common "bond" of children, family, material things or simply comfortable routine.
You hear it all the time. Yeah, i'd divorce the bitch/bastard in a heartbeat BUT the children are still young, I'd lose my home, I'd lose the business I've worked so hard to build, he's a good provider, etc. etc. etc. Hell SOME women won't get divorced simply because they don't want to have to date again and go to all the work of "house-breaking" a new man.
With many, of both sexes it's a simple matter of "better the Devil you know than the one you don't."
Hollywood is offline  
Reply

  Defending The Truth Political Forum > Political Issues > Social Issues

Tags
morals, sex



Thread Tools
Display Modes


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
America's Morals Are Shifting To The Left LongWinded Current Events 226 June 11th, 2015 04:12 PM
what are the morals of the left? webguy4 Liberalism 30 June 4th, 2015 05:59 AM
How Outdated Morals Came To Rule The Christian Right skews13 Christianity 76 October 4th, 2014 04:48 PM
Ideology and morals Monkey Political Ideologies 51 July 6th, 2012 07:52 AM
Morals and Ethics Ave Gloria Dei Philosophy 2 June 5th, 2007 08:26 AM


Facebook Twitter RSS Feed



Copyright © 2005-2013 Defending The Truth. All rights reserved.