Adjudicating the he said she said thing ...

Sep 2015
6,890
3,893
Stage Left
#11
This is just my personal opinion, but I think that women should be more physicaly agressive is such situations. If one is alone with a man in such a situation and the man "grabs" the first thing she should do is SCREAM just as loudly as she can TAKE YOUR FUCKING HANDS off me!!!
If that does not make the man immediately retreat I'd suggest kicking him in the cajones as hard as possible.
Quietly walking out of the room as if nothing has happened and later filing a complaint with the HR does not always work. SOME men take a LACK of immediate and agressive resistence/retaliation as a form of permission.
Just an opinion.
its not always that easy, and for many women the natural response is to "freeze". its only been recently studied and looked into, and is a greater cause of shame for those who do freeze. its a horrifying experience, and can make some survivors even less likely to report because of the guilt, shame and blame they add to themselves for not "doing" something.
 
Dec 2014
27,268
14,965
Memphis, Tn.
#12
its not always that easy, and for many women the natural response is to "freeze". its only been recently studied and looked into, and is a greater cause of shame for those who do freeze. its a horrifying experience, and can make some survivors even less likely to report because of the guilt, shame and blame they add to themselves for not "doing" something.
Then get whatever training that might be needed.
It is a hard truth that if one chooses to live/work in what may be a hostile/dangerous environment it is their responsibility to learn effective ways to survive in that environmnt UNTIL SAID ENVIRONMENT CAN BE CHANGED.
Yep, you might well lose some fights, but you better learn to fight.
 
May 2013
5,419
4,613
arkansas
#13
Then get whatever training that might be needed.
It is a hard truth that if one chooses to live/work in what may be a hostile/dangerous environment it is their responsibility to learn effective ways to survive in that environmnt UNTIL SAID ENVIRONMENT CAN BE CHANGED.
Yep, you might well lose some fights, but you better learn to fight.
Changing that 'don't give offense' attitude isn't easy. It's reinforced in females from an early age.

Plus, a woman who is being 'grabbed' has the added worry of getting injured if she fights back or screams. Either in retaliation or to shut her up.
 
Likes: Lyzza
Jul 2014
14,742
9,013
massachusetts
#14
This is actually a pretty easy call to make if you are familiar with the people involved.
If she is believable and he's not, fire him, if he's believable and she's not, fire her.

If they are both believable, three martini lunch.
 
Dec 2018
3,284
970
New England
#15
This is actually a pretty easy call to make if you are familiar with the people involved.
If she is believable and he's not, fire him, if he's believable and she's not, fire her.

If they are both believable, three martini lunch.
There's nothing easy about it, even when you've got a good idea who's telling the truth.
 
Dec 2018
3,284
970
New England
#17
It's a slam dunk if you know what happened.
Goober, I've made a "slam dunk" decision, as you call it. The dude was texting a co-worker pics of his junk, so there was no difficulty arriving at the decision to fire him. Yet I couldn't help thinking about the man's wife and newborn son at home, and what this meant for them. Trust me, it's never easy.
 
Likes: imaginethat
Jul 2014
14,742
9,013
massachusetts
#18
Goober, I've made a "slam dunk" decision, as you call it. The dude was texting a co-worker pics of his junk, so there was no difficulty arriving at the decision to fire him. Yet I couldn't help thinking about the man's wife and newborn son at home, and what this meant for them. Trust me, it's never easy.
The decision is easy.
You can feel bad about the consequences, but the decision is easy.
 
Dec 2014
27,268
14,965
Memphis, Tn.
#19
Changing that 'don't give offense' attitude isn't easy. It's reinforced in females from an early age.

Plus, a woman who is being 'grabbed' has the added worry of getting injured if she fights back or screams. Either in retaliation or to shut her up.
Never said it was easy. Maybe women should stop teaching their daughters that. Fathers will tell their daughters pretty much the same thing I said in my posted comment, "kick him in the nuts if he doesn't back the fuck off."
So? You sometimes get injured in a fight, if you don't want to be a victim, fight. If one would rather the man get away with his crime rather than take a chance of being hurt that's up to her.
 
Sep 2015
6,890
3,893
Stage Left
#20
Then get whatever training that might be needed.
It is a hard truth that if one chooses to live/work in what may be a hostile/dangerous environment it is their responsibility to learn effective ways to survive in that environmnt UNTIL SAID ENVIRONMENT CAN BE CHANGED.
Yep, you might well lose some fights, but you better learn to fight.
wow, what an incredibly male way of overlooking the very real issue many women face.

just fight it out? are you serious? this makes no sense for sooooooo many reasons, and is completely insulting to those who "freeze" during an assault.