Atheist songs

Jul 2008
19,240
13,259
Virginia Beach, VA
Thank You God by Tim Minchin

I have an apology to make
I'm afraid I've made a big mistake
I turned my face away from you, Lord

I was too blind to see the light
I was too weak to feel Your might
I closed my eyes; I couldn't see the truth, Lord

But then like Saul on the Damascus road,
You sent a messenger to me, and so
Now I've have had the truth revealed to me
Please forgive me all those things I said
I'll no longer betray you, Lord
I will pray to you instead

And I will say thank you, thank you
Thank you, God
Thank you, thank you
Thank you, God...

Thank you, God, for fixing the cataracts of Sam's mum
I had no idea, but it's suddenly so clear now
I feel such a cynic, how could I have been so wrong?
Thank you for displaying how praying works:
A particular prayer in a particular church
Thank you Sam for the chance to acknowledge this
Omnipotent ophthalmologist

Thank you, God, for fixing the cataracts of Sam's mum
I didn't realize that it was so simple
But you've shown a great example of just how it can be done
You only need to pray in a particular spot
To a particular version of a particular god,
And if you pull that off without a hitch,
He will fix one eye of one middle-class white bitch

I know in the past my outlook has been limited
I couldn't see examples of where life had been definitive
But I can admit it when the evidence is clear,
As clear as Sam's mum's new cornea
(And that's extremely clear! )

Thank you, God, for fixing the cataracts of Sam's mum
I have to admit that in the past I have been skeptical
But Sam described this miracle and I am overcome!
How fitting that the sighting of a sight-based intervention
Should open my eyes to this exciting new dimension
It's like someone put an eye chart up in front of me
And the top five letters say: I C, G O D

Thank you, Sam, for showing how my point of view has been so flawed
I assumed there was no God at all but now I see that's cynical
It's simply that his interests aren't particularly broad
He's largely undiverted by the starving masses,
Or the inequality between the various classes
He gives out strictly limited passes,
Redeemable for surgery or two-for-one glasses

I feel so shocking for historically mocking
Your interests are clearly confined to the ocular
I bet given the chance, you'd eschew the divine
And start a little business selling contacts online

Fuck me Sam, what are the odds
That of history's endless parade of gods
That the God you just happened to be taught to believe in
Is the actual God and he digs on healing,
But not the AIDS-ridden African nations
Nor the victims of the plague, nor the flood-addled Asians,
But healthy, privately-insured Australians
With common and curable lens degeneration

The story of Sam's has but a single explanation:
A surgical God who digs on magic operations
No, it couldn't be mistaken attribution of causation
Born of a coincidental temporal correlation
Exacerbated by a general lack of education
Vis-a-vis physics in Sam's parish congregation
No it couldn't be that all these pious people are liars
It couldn't be an artifact of confirmation bias
A product of groupthink,
A mass delusion,
An Emperor's New Clothes-style fear of exclusion

No, it's more likely to be an all-powerful magician
Than the misdiagnosis of the initial condition,
Or one of many cases of spontaneous remission,
Or a record-keeping glitch by the local physician

No, the only explanation for Sam's mum's seeing:
They prayed to an all-knowing superbeing,
To the omnipresent master of the universe,
And he quite liked the sound of their muttered verse.

So for a bit of a change from his usual stunt
Of being a sexist, racist, murderous cunt
He popped down to Dandenong and just like that
Used his powers to heal the cataracts of Sam's mum
Of Sam's mum

Thank you God for fixing the cataracts of Sam's mum!
I didn't realize that it was such a simple thing
I feel such a dingaling, what ignorant scum!

Now I understand a prayer can work:
A particular prayer in a particular church
In a particular style with a particular stuff
And for particular problems that aren't particularly tough,
And for particular people, preferably white
And for particular senses, preferably sight
A particular prayer in a particular spot
To a particular version of a particular god

And if you get that right, he just might
Take a break from giving babies malaria
And pop down to your local area
And fix the cataracts of your mum!

https://youtu.be/zi8HT6Ux8FMI
 
Jul 2008
19,240
13,259
Virginia Beach, VA
Jerry Falwell's God by Roy Zimmerman

Jerry Falwell’s god was standing by the elevator while we were talking about the party, so we had to invite him.

Secretly, we were wishing that he wouldn’t come, because he’s vengeful and jealous and he tends to smite people.

Of course, he knew we were thinking that, made him all the more determined to show up and punish us.

I wanted to invite my god, but he was at the beach.

Jerry Falwell’s god is everywhere… the robe and the beard down to here, and the gossamer wings, and the button that says, “What would Jesus do?”

And sure enough, day of the party, there he was at the door.

And he spoke, spaketh he, saying, “I AM COME.”

And I knew there was a joke there… but Jerry Falwell’s god will not be mocked.

So I said, you know, “Come in.”

Jerry Falwell’s god
Jerry Falwell’s god
Huh!

Now, I’m no heavenly host, but I throw a decent party, and there were all kinds of people there — black, white, Swedish, Norwegian, the entire human spectrum.

And right away, Jerry Falwell’s god found the two people who would listen to him and began spaking in a voice so loud, that a guy from the bowling alley came over and asked us if we’d keep it down.



And he turned the loaves to fishes, and the Oreos to Hydrox.

And he made the lame to walk.

And these were my friends, so they were still lame, but they could walk.

And he divided up the room, divided he, saying “Gays here, lesbians here, feminists, pagans, abortionists, People for the American Way,” and frankly, some of us did not know where to stand.

I went with the lesbians.

Jerry Falwell’s god
Jerry Falwell’s god
Huh!

And he pointed his huge finger at each group in turn, saying, “I blame you, and you, and you, who have secularized society and cast me out of the town square,” and I thought, “Man you are the town square.”

He said, “Lo, the end days are here, and the judgment is nigh, where I will draw the faithful to heaven and leave the unrepentant to walk a desolate earth.” I know…strict.

And it began to rained toads, and spit fire, and he brought forth seven bowls of seven plagues, and finally I just said, “Listen, I’ll tell you one thing Jesus would not do.

Jesus would not wreck a guy’s party.

And Jesus would not preach hate.

Jesus would not stand in the rubble and say, ‘I told you so.’

Jesus would not use an international catastrophe to score points for some narrow, misogynistic, anti-Semitic, homophobic, interpretation of his life and teaching.

And if people are vengeful and jealous and violent, maybe it’s because you created him in your image.

And if people have cast you out of the town square, maybe it’s because you are a finger-pointing, moralizing, rageaholic, stone drag who gives deities a bad name!

And if people have turned away from your word, maybe it’s because you got spinach in your teeth!”

And he smote me.

Jerry Falwell’s god
Jerry Falwell’s god
Huh!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyE5wjc4XOw&list=RDMyE5wjc4XOw
 
Oct 2019
676
48
USA
So for a bit of a change from his usual stunt
Of being a sexist, racist, murderous cunt
What does being sexist, racist, or murderous have to do with "atheism"?

Those are religious or faith-based beliefs - not "atheism", which is just a "lack of belief".

Anti-sexism (codes of chivalry which developed in Christian Europe)

Anti-racism (Jesus' parable about the Samaritan and the Jew).

Anti-murder (The 10 Commandments).

Sure, as an atheist, you're more than welcome to culturally appropriate Christian beliefs, but there's nothing "atheistic" about them, and if an atheist (such as Marquis de Sade) wanted to believe that rape and murder were enjoyable, there would be nothing wrong with that either.
 
Jul 2008
19,240
13,259
Virginia Beach, VA
What does being sexist, racist, or murderous have to do with "atheism"?

Those are religious or faith-based beliefs - not "atheism", which is just a "lack of belief".

Anti-sexism (codes of chivalry which developed in Christian Europe)

Anti-racism (Jesus' parable about the Samaritan and the Jew).

Anti-murder (The 10 Commandments).

Sure, as an atheist, you're more than welcome to culturally appropriate Christian beliefs, but there's nothing "atheistic" about them, and if an atheist (such as Marquis de Sade) wanted to believe that rape and murder were enjoyable, there would be nothing wrong with that either.
Missing the whole point of the song.