Full Trump Transcript (I almost Pissed myself off this!)

Feb 2006
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WASHINGTON—Shedding light on what exactly transpired between the U.S. president and Ukraine during a mysterious April call, a transcript released Friday includes 37 pages of a confused Donald Trump mashing his fingers against his phone’s dial pad while President Volodymyr Zelensky tries to speak.

According to the released call logs, President Trump responded to Zelensky’s appeals for further cooperation between the two countries by hitting nine and then star 30 times in a row while yelling ‘Ukraine!’ into the phone. This was reportedly followed by an eight-minute exchange where the president repeatedly held down the entire keypad in an attempt to hang up the phone.

In addition, several pages of the transcript document noted rapid fire dialing as Trump muttered about not knowing how to spell Ukraine with numbers. At press time, legal analysts going over the call were expressing the most interest in the final five minutes, where President Trump attempts to order a meat lovers pizza and cinnamon sticks from Domino’s before launching into a six-minute diatribe about how someone with President Zelensky’s thick accent shouldn’t be working at a pizza place.
 
Feb 2006
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3,076
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WASHINGTON—Rocking back and forth on the tile floor as he averted his eyes from the disgustingly suggestive entryway hardware, Vice President Mike Pence was reportedly against a bathroom wall for hours Thursday following an encounter with a doorknob resembling the female breast.

“Come on, Mikey, snap out of it…stand up, walk over there, just pull the door open, and you’ll be free,” said the vice president, attempting to avoid making physical contact with the enticingly curvaceous door pull by wrapping his fingers in a paper towel, only to have it tear and bring his palm into contact with the offensive contours, which sent him back to the sink to repeatedly wash his hands.

“Remember, it’s not a real woman. It’s just a piece of metal like any other doorknob. Just take a deep breath and don’t throw up.” At press time, Pence had collapsed when a Secret Service agent opened the door, causing the knob to jiggle suggestively.


 
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Feb 2006
14,537
3,076
California
I do not believe that trump was the cause of the Republican demise, but rather a symptom of the cause. Kind of like a pimple on ones ass. The pimple is an outward sign of an infection, not the cause of the infection.
Agreed, the republican party has been a festering abscess for a long time, Trump is making it burst!

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