How Taylor Swift Thwarts Paparazzi by Showing Skin

Mar 2007
Pensacola, FL
Whilst you silly fools are so on about issues affecting our nation, need I remind you of what is really important:

After ample speculation from her fans, Taylor Swift has informed loyal followers why she finally revealed her belly button last month, following a long history of hiding it from the masses.

If you can recall, the Internet erupted in shock when Taylor Swift, human sunbeam, Instagrammed a photo of herself showing off her midriff alongside her pals, the indie pop darlings of HAIM. For the most part, the demure diva had previously kept most of her skin — especially her middle — under wraps.

But why did it take Taylor so long to show her navel? After all, she told Lucky magazine three months ago that she hid it strategically *– perhaps to let people wonder if she was, in fact, a human like the rest of us. "I don't want people to know if I have one or not," she said. "I want that to be a mystery. As far as anyone knows based on my public appearances, they haven't seen evidence of a belly button."

So, no, the answer as to why she finally revealed her navel was not to silence conspiracy theorists who thought she was an alien, but rather, to keep the paparazzi from making big bucks from that first photo.

"My security gets out the binoculars and sees that [the paparazzi] have a huge long lens camera. … At which point, we go back to the beach and realize, 'okay, so they got pictures of us in our bikinis,' Taylor told Nick Grimshaw on BBC Radio 1's Breakfast Show. "I don't want them to make, like, $100,000 for a bikini shot. And so we're like, 'Get up on the bow of the boat: we're taking better bikini shots so that they don't make as much money on theirs."

What can we learn from this? Nothing much other than the fact that Swift will take off her shroud of mystery only if it means making the paparazzi suffer. And, to repeat: Taylor Swift is not an alien, she is a human with a belly button. Just like us! Only… not at all.

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