How to tell if you are an Evangelical "christian".....

May 2018
3,762
2,752
USA
#1
  • You loudly preach that marriage is between one man and one woman “just like it says in the Bible”. Problem is the Bible NEVER says marriage is between 1 man and 1 woman, and indeed many of the patriarchs/heroes of the Bible had DOZENS of wives.
  • You loudly preach about the “sanctity of life” while supporting wars that result in the deaths of hundreds of thousands of innocent women and children, the death penalty, and unfettered access to firearms by any crazy who can afford a gun, and actively opposing any sort of healthcare that would benefit citizens and save millions of lives.
  • You oppose abortion on religious grounds and loudly cry “think of the children!!”, nevermind the Bible is actually PRO –abortion (Numbers 5:11-28) and the fact that you oppose any programs that might benefit actual children, such as food/medical/shelter programs. You “love” the children so much that the USA has over 100,000 orphans and there are over 30 million evangelicals (if only 1 in 300 of them adopted an orphan, there would be no orphans in the USA).
  • You loudly proclaimed that Bill Clinton was unsuitable for office because of his affairs with multiple women, especially Lewinsky who is on record as saying she loved Clinton. However Trump, a self-avowed sexual harasser who has cheated on literally EVERY wife he’s had, is given a “mulligan”, because, as we all know, Evangelicals know the TRUE intent of the Bible, even if it is the exact opposite of what Jesus said..
  • You express your “love” towards homosexuals and other “misguided” individuals by advocating pogroms against gay people, by supporting laws that discriminate against them and try to stop them from making a living.
  • You believe in the “prosperity principle”: whatever you give to the church will be returned to you 10 fold! You believe that wealth is a reflection of how much God values you and is rewarding you for being such a great Christian! Nevermind Jesus actually said “It’s easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to pass through the gates of Heaven”.
  • You loudly condemn terrorist attacks committed by Muslims, Hindus, etc while somehow not noticing Christian terrorists shooting up schools, medical clinics, etc. Most of the terrorist attacks in the USA in the last decade were perpetrated by rightwing Christians.
  • You mock Islam saying “If most Muslims aren’t extremists why don’t they do something about the BAD ones??”, while simultaneously ignoring bigoted hateful pricks such as the Westboro Baptist Church, Pat Robertson, etc.
  • If you think God would send as his leader for the most powerful country in the world a man who is stupid, narcissistic, ignorant, greedy, hateful, small-minded, obese, and a pathological liar…because God works in mysterious ways, huh?
  • If you think it's more humane to force an 8 year old rape victim to risk her life by forcing her to have the rape baby than it is to allow her to get an abortion. After all, that zygote is far more precious than an actual human, right?
  • If you think a book with the verse "Happy is he that dasheth the infant's head on a stone" (Psalms 137:9) and which openly advocates murdering a rebellious son or selling a daughter into prostitution is queasy on the topic of abortion...


Any other points you guys would care to add?
 
Sep 2017
2,281
1,152
Hell
#3
It sounds like you should hug an Evangelist once a day so that all your love and goodness would just ooze into him her it.
 
Apr 2014
3,170
1,364
redacted
#4
  • You loudly preach that marriage is between one man and one woman “just like it says in the Bible”. Problem is the Bible NEVER says marriage is between 1 man and 1 woman, and indeed many of the patriarchs/heroes of the Bible had DOZENS of wives.
  • You loudly preach about the “sanctity of life” while supporting wars that result in the deaths of hundreds of thousands of innocent women and children, the death penalty, and unfettered access to firearms by any crazy who can afford a gun, and actively opposing any sort of healthcare that would benefit citizens and save millions of lives.
  • You oppose abortion on religious grounds and loudly cry “think of the children!!”, nevermind the Bible is actually PRO –abortion (Numbers 5:11-28) and the fact that you oppose any programs that might benefit actual children, such as food/medical/shelter programs. You “love” the children so much that the USA has over 100,000 orphans and there are over 30 million evangelicals (if only 1 in 300 of them adopted an orphan, there would be no orphans in the USA).
  • You loudly proclaimed that Bill Clinton was unsuitable for office because of his affairs with multiple women, especially Lewinsky who is on record as saying she loved Clinton. However Trump, a self-avowed sexual harasser who has cheated on literally EVERY wife he’s had, is given a “mulligan”, because, as we all know, Evangelicals know the TRUE intent of the Bible, even if it is the exact opposite of what Jesus said..
  • You express your “love” towards homosexuals and other “misguided” individuals by advocating pogroms against gay people, by supporting laws that discriminate against them and try to stop them from making a living.
  • You believe in the “prosperity principle”: whatever you give to the church will be returned to you 10 fold! You believe that wealth is a reflection of how much God values you and is rewarding you for being such a great Christian! Nevermind Jesus actually said “It’s easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to pass through the gates of Heaven”.
  • You loudly condemn terrorist attacks committed by Muslims, Hindus, etc while somehow not noticing Christian terrorists shooting up schools, medical clinics, etc. Most of the terrorist attacks in the USA in the last decade were perpetrated by rightwing Christians.
  • You mock Islam saying “If most Muslims aren’t extremists why don’t they do something about the BAD ones??”, while simultaneously ignoring bigoted hateful pricks such as the Westboro Baptist Church, Pat Robertson, etc.
  • If you think God would send as his leader for the most powerful country in the world a man who is stupid, narcissistic, ignorant, greedy, hateful, small-minded, obese, and a pathological liar…because God works in mysterious ways, huh?
  • If you think it's more humane to force an 8 year old rape victim to risk her life by forcing her to have the rape baby than it is to allow her to get an abortion. After all, that zygote is far more precious than an actual human, right?
  • If you think a book with the verse "Happy is he that dasheth the infant's head on a stone" (Psalms 137:9) and which openly advocates murdering a rebellious son or selling a daughter into prostitution is queasy on the topic of abortion...


Any other points you guys would care to add?
  • Spreads hate instead of Christianity.
  • Believes money is a sign of God's love and is only given to those who are worth.
 
Mar 2019
2,574
575
Texas
#5
LOL
You had one or two valid points and a whole bunch of hate and drivel mixed in. So much so i can not take you seriously.

Wake me when you get done with the propaganda and want to have a valid meaningful conversation with someone who is attempting to be level headed on these issues.
 
Nov 2012
2,782
1,704
Rhondda
#10
I'm glad you at least acknowledge that the human condition trends towards self righteousness.

To become humble, it requires supernatural intervention.

And yes, there are many good and humble evangelicals that I've met.
To be humble requires only the absence of silly illusions. I'm glad you've met good and humble evangelicals: get them to speak up in public, even if it means martyrdom!