The Be-All, End-All Tennesseecorker

Oct 2017
34
6
Calgary, Alberta CANADA
#1
Day #262 of The Trump Dig at the Puhl-DePlugg Reservoir ... the day's news through a dinosaur lens

The Be-All, End-All Tennesseecorker

The Sessionsopus, the Mitchgetbacktowork and the Saveyourenergyrex all sat on their haunches before the Huckabeecyclops who was overseeing their latest mandatory therapy session in the Puhl-DePlugg Reservoir. The Huckabeecyclops cast her eye to the cloudy sky. The doctor was in.

“We are gathered here today in what may appear as the deep, dark depths of depression, but I assure you that things are not as bad as they seem. Sessionsopus? Why don’t you start things off for us.”

“Well, okay. I’m feeling better these days. A good day is when I don’t see the T-Rump. You know the story, he expected me to slay the Putinodon and the Crookadillary in a single day. When I didn’t, he sent out his fleet of Trollertweeties calling me ‘beleaguered’ and ‘very weak.’ I’m not beset by difficulties. He’s the difficulty. There. I said it.”

“Now, now, Sessionsopus,” said the Huckabeecyclops. “When the T-Rump said ‘beleaguered’ he could’ve been referring to, oh … the ‘B’ Leagues perhaps. You know, just a step below his ‘A’ League expectations. Sure. He just wants you to step it up a bit.”

She turned to the next patient.

“Mitchgetbacktowork, you haven’t talked to the T-Rump in weeks if not months. Can I at least bring him back a wee tidbit of good tidings?”

The Mitchgetbacktowork broke out in a bluster.

“It wasn’t just me attacking the Obamacarus. Oh, no. Seven years to repeel and regurgitate. What did he expect? That skin was like leather! You tell him I hope he chokes on his next helping of Caviaraptor legs!”

“No,” said the calming Huckabeecyclops, “I’m going to tell him your relationship with him is fine. Certainly there are going to be some policy differences, but you two share so many goals.”

“Do me a favor and just point him to the Caviaraptor legs.”

The Huckabeecyclops refocused her wandering eye.

“Saveyourenergyrex. You’re joining us today for the first time. Why is that?”

“He called the T-Rump a moh-ron,” said the Sessionsopus with a giggle.

“Who then made him go in front of all the Mediacircustops and say he had the T-Rump’s back,” said the Mitchgetbacktowork. “Were you really being held hostage?”

“Certainly not,” said the Saveyourenergyrex. “I plan on spending another year here and — god willing with these therapy sessions — I can step aside with some semblance of dignity.”

“Dignity, schmignity.” It was the Tennessecorker, a feisty Snapchattanoogan Ornithopod.

The Huckabeecyclops checked the sun.

“You’re late, Tenneseecorker. But just in time to share your own woes. As I’ve briefed the others, I will be returning to the T-Rump with unabridged versions of your statements in some neutral form of semi-confidentiality.”

“Oh, I’ve passed on a statement alright.”

“Er, what kind of statement?” The Huckabeecyclop’s eye was wobbling as it did whenever she was left out of the loop.

“I hijacked a few Trollertweeties of my own.”

There was an audible gasp of enthusiasm from the other patients.

“Yessiree, Bob,” said the Tennesseecorker. “I had them say the Marinegunkelly, the Maddogmattis and the Saveyourenergyrex were all that was keeping the Puhl-DePlugg Reservoir from chaos.”

The Huckabeecyclop’s eye whirled at how to spin ‘chaos.’

“Then,” the Tennesseecorker continued, “he lied about convincing me to stay, how I begged him … more lies … you know.”

The other patients nodded knowingly.

“Finally, I just told him what his oval dwelling is.”

“What’s that?” asked the Huckabeecyclops.

“An adult day-care center.”

There were loud snorts of laughter. The Sessionsopus coughed up a cat.

“Oh, no,” said the Huckabeecyclops, reeling with confusion. “I’m sure, absolutely positive what you meant to say, what I will tell the T-Rump, is that his oval dwelling is indeed a … uh, professional meeting place.”

Her words however, were lost in the first cathartic laughter heard across the Milkanhoney Preservation in weeks. The Tennesseecorker rose from his haunches and waved to his cohorts.

“Good luck, good bye and thank God for the Trollertweety.”
 
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Oct 2017
34
6
Calgary, Alberta CANADA
#4
Filling in some blanks ...

This is my 42nd installment of the Trump Dig. I began it back on day 164 of Trump's presidency. Instead of pulling my hair out at his daily antics, I decided to have fun with it.

Initially I played the role of a politico-paleontologist at the Puhl-DePlugg Reservoir dig site. It was a vehicle for me to take a satirical look at Trump's White House, as seen through dinosaur lens. After a dozen articles, the dinosaurs all took on lives of their own based on the news headlines. I just had to stand back and watch.

I hope that clears up any confusion.
 
Nov 2012
5,758
3,491
Kekistan
#5
This is my 42nd installment of the Trump Dig. I began it back on day 164 of Trump's presidency. Instead of pulling my hair out at his daily antics, I decided to have fun with it.

Initially I played the role of a politico-paleontologist at the Puhl-DePlugg Reservoir dig site. It was a vehicle for me to take a satirical look at Trump's White House, as seen through dinosaur lens. After a dozen articles, the dinosaurs all took on lives of their own based on the news headlines. I just had to stand back and watch.

I hope that clears up any confusion.
No, not really. I still think your really confused. How is the Queen treating her subjects these days?
 
Oct 2017
34
6
Calgary, Alberta CANADA
#7
Rolling Stone Likes Trudeau ...

From Huffington Post ... Rolling Stone unveiled its (Aug. 10, 2017) cover featuring Prime Minister Justin Trudeau on Wednesday — teasing their interview with a coquettish question: "Why can't he be our president?"

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But I guess that's why we have political satire ...
 
Likes: 1 person

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