What is love?

Feb 2014
3,009
1,338
Oregon
Avilis sent me wonderful explanation of love. Because I am dealing with grief at the moment, I am wide open to thoughts about love. What is it? Can we avoid pain? Which is the least painful, to live without love, or to endure the pain that can come with loving someone?
 
Nov 2013
2,638
1,141
NM
Athena - sorry to hear of your loss.

This too shall pass - but it only begins to make sense afterwards, never - in my experience - during.

You are not alone.
 
Feb 2014
3,009
1,338
Oregon
My condolences Athena.

Pain comes for us all, hon, emotional or physical. It can't be avoided.
We all must go to Hades from time to time to gain a sense of meaning. That is what I am trying to do now. Mostly I have been a loner. I have met my need to connect with humans through intellectual pursuits. But I am realizing something about us demands more than this intellectual pursuit and something more than causal relationships. Right now my life is full of people, but not exactly the quality of the relationship that is satisfying this need I feel. What in blazes is this all about? It seems totally irrational to want this something that I can not understand. Irrational to feel a loneliness in a world full of people. :lol: Eating ice cream helps but I don't think I should eat too much of it. What is the human need that can be so problematic?
 
Feb 2014
3,009
1,338
Oregon
Athena - sorry to hear of your loss.

This too shall pass - but it only begins to make sense afterwards, never - in my experience - during.

You are not alone.
Thank you but do you have a philosophy for why humans love and want to be loved? I am questioning the phenomena. How practical is this? How does it benefit our survival?
 
Nov 2013
2,638
1,141
NM
Thank you but do you have a philosophy for why humans love and want to be loved? I am questioning the phenomena. How practical is this? How does it benefit our survival?
Humans don't live in isolation - We can't manage language, culture by ourselves. Even if we already have language & culture when we go into isolation, we'll lose the knack without being able to practice, to interact with other people. That's why solitary confinement in prison is so damaging - people regress, eventually, if they can't interact with others. Forced into & held within a sensory deprivation tank, eventually our brain will rebel - it will invent sounds & images, & interact with those, if we're forced to the extreme.

A lot of being human is transactional - without someone else to bounce ideas & language off of, we begin to shrink psychologically. If we're cut off for too long, we may not be able to come back @ all.

So certainly, mourn those who are lost. But don't forget to step out into the larger World as well - we can't simply sit still & wait to die. Our lives are intertwined, & the textures of relating the one to the other lend interest & spark to our lives.
 
Sep 2019
1,048
408
Texas
Love is what it is it needs no intellectual understanding- without pain there is no bliss- without dark there is no light- without down there is no up- without wet there is no dry- life is what you make it- happiness comes from within- relying on another to make you happy enslaves you to the other- treat others the way you want to be treated- if that ain't good enough for the others send them away or go away from them-
 

imaginethat

Forum Staff
Oct 2010
68,577
28,370
Colorado
We all must go to Hades from time to time to gain a sense of meaning. That is what I am trying to do now. Mostly I have been a loner. I have met my need to connect with humans through intellectual pursuits. But I am realizing something about us demands more than this intellectual pursuit and something more than causal relationships. Right now my life is full of people, but not exactly the quality of the relationship that is satisfying this need I feel. What in blazes is this all about? It seems totally irrational to want this something that I can not understand. Irrational to feel a loneliness in a world full of people. :lol: Eating ice cream helps but I don't think I should eat too much of it. What is the human need that can be so problematic?
Ice cream always helps me.
 
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May 2018
6,933
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Chicago
Thank you but do you have a philosophy for why humans love and want to be loved? I am questioning the phenomena. How practical is this? How does it benefit our survival?
Love is the most important thing in the world. Been dealing with what I think you mean a lot lately. Being a single gay man at 52 is not easy. A lot of young guys want to date me or screw me. At the same time, I have the love from my hockey team. Love is a confusing thing at times.