- May 2013
I mean....in a way that makes a woman feel attractive.This: I'm afraid that dressing that way for yourself is something that some men cannot wrap their brains around. In their minds, you dressed that way for them, and them only. And how dare you get upset when they do what, they believe, you are obviously begging them to do!
Imo, this is taking a way too black and white view of a very complex subject filled with subtleties and innuendos .... and in some cases, confusion. What do you mean by "that way"?
Some guys, maybe most, will "get it," meaning, just because a woman dresses in "that way" which is sure to stir the electrons in a man's on-board harness of hard -wiring, and, as Lyzza admitted, deliberately so, that doesn't mean "all are welcome." But some won't get it.
And while some of those men who don't get it are jerks who deliberately don't get it, some aren't. Some are unsophisticated and/or inexperienced, guys that haven't quite figured out that the way to get a woman who might be interested in ya is to ignore her, and rebuff her advances....
We are programed from birth to 'look attractive'. It's drummed into us from the first time our mothers gaze at us. Honestly....what mother wants a ugly frumpy daughter.
Look at TV and movies. The women are mostly attractive and built well. Look at the amount of beauty advertisements in all media areas. Check out the clothing and makeup ads in magazines and tv shows directed at teenage girls.
All of this conspires to make us feel bad about ourselves if we don't look good.
I have been a widow for a little over five months now, and I am still at least a year, probably more from having any interest in a man in any way other than a friend. BUT.....when I go out with friends or family, I still dress to 'look good'. I still put on makeup and do my hair. I simply feel better when I look good.
To be perfectly honest, lately I wish that widows weeds would come back into fashion. A woman could still look good while making it perfectly clear that she is in mourning.